LGBTI Oranisations in South Africa

Being different in today's society can sometimes be a bit too much to deal with on your own.
There are however various organisations that are there for exactly that reason, they exist to help you deal with whatever might be getting you down.
Below is a list of organisations that can help, all provinces are there, get the help you need!

Gauteng

General Organisations

ACTIVATE
Organisation for Gay, Lesbian and Bixesual Students. Contact Alok on 0826414292. - E-Mail

 

BEHIND THE MASK
A non-profit media organisation publishing a news website intended for gay and lesbian affairs in Africa.
Tel: +27 (0)11 403 5566
E-mail: info@mask.org.za
Website: www.mask.org.za/

 

FEW (FORUM FOR THE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN)
Tel: 011 339 1867/1882 or 011 403 8682.
Fax: 011 339 1871
Email: info@few.org.za - Website

 

GALA: GAY AND LESBIAN ARCHIVES
GALA provides a permanent home at Wits University for historical and archival material relating to LGBTI experience in South Africa. 706 University Corner, University of the Witwatersrand, Braamfontein.
Tel: +27 (0)11 717 4239
Fax: +27(0)11 717 1783
E-Mail: info@gala.co.za - Website

 

GAY AND LESBIAN LEGAL ADVICE CENTRE
#1C Rocky Street, Yeoville 

 

GAY AND LESBIAN POLICING NETWORK
For gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and heterosexual members of the police services 24 hours national telephone service 088 128 1902 address PO Box 546 Groenkloof, 0027 

 

GAY PARENTS' SUPPORT GROUP
Gay Parents' Support Group. Contact Louise 083 289 5929 

 

GEM
GEM was formed to raise awareness, within the broad South African media, about the representation of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered) people. It is being registered as a Section 21 not-for-profit company with a volunteer board of media professionals. GEM’s role includes: media monitoring and sensitivity awareness; lobbying for equitable representation of gay issues in the media; and advocacy of gay issues through the media. - Website

 

JOBURG PRIDE COMPANY
A section 21 community representative company that organises Joburg Pride.
Contact: Natasha on info@joburgpride.org - Website

 

SA BEARS
A gathering of “bear”. Meet every second and fourth Saturday. Website: www.sabears.co.za. 

 

SKEEF
Organisation for gay and lesbian students at Rand Afrikaans University Tel Leon Botes c/o SRC at (011)489-2911 

 

SOHACA (SOWETO HIV/AIDS COUNSELLORS ASSOCIATION)
(b)Soweto(/b) Sohaca (Soweto HIV/Aids Counsellors Association) PO Box 229 Dube Village 1800 Soweto Tel: +27 (0)11 939 3540 Fax: +27 (0)11 939 5903 Activities: counseling, mental health, HIV, support - E-Mail

 

Health

AL-FITRAH FOUNDATION
Activities: e-support, weekly spiritual meetings, socials. Tel: 082 507 3412 (Muhsin Hendricks) - E-Mail

 

CONTEMPORARY CATHOLIC COMMUNITY
A self governing catholic (non Roman) ecumenical and welcoming community. Served by the White Robed Monks of St Benedict and offering a spiritual home to all who feel alienated from their institutional churches. Our priest is also a civil union marriage officer. Contact Fr. Oliver on 076 604 5582 for times and venues of Mass and regular get-togethers. - Website

 

GAY CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY / GAY CHRISTEN BOND
PO Box 1363, Rand Park Ridge, Johannesburg, 2156. Contact Roland 082 601 6416 or Johan 083 677 2126. - E-Mail

 

GAY MUSLIM OUTREACH
Gay Muslim Outreach. Abdul 082 784 5304 - E-Mail

 

JEWISH OUTLOOK
LGBTI Jewish Alliance. South African Jewish Organisation catering for the Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgendered and Intersex Community.
Email:info@jewishoutlook.org
Support No: 076 215 8600
- Website

 

THE INNER CIRCLE
A Muslim-based organization for the social and spiritual development of sexually diverse groups and individuals.
Phone: 2711-432-4946
E-mail: admin@theinnercircle-za.org
- Website

 

 

Kwa-Zulu Natal

General Organisations

NATIONAL COALITION FOR GAY & LESBIAN EQUALITY - DURBAN
PO Box 30890, Mayville 4058; Vasu Reddy; e-mail: reddy@mtb.und.ac.za 

 

PMB GAY & LESBIAN NETWORK
The PMB Gay & Lesbian Network will ensure the optimum commitment and services for the upliftment and recognition of the LGBTI community through creative programmes that foster Equality, Tolerance, Respect and Acceptance. Contact: Anthony Waldhausen (T) 033 342 6165 (M) 072 536 2978. Gay and Lesbian Helpline: 0860 33 3331 - Friday to Sunday between 6pm and 10pm. - E-Mail

 

Health

DURBAN LESBIAN AND GAY COMMUNITY AND HEALTH CENTRE
Durban Lesbian and Gay Community and Health Centre
Room 301 Protea House, Mark Lane, Durban
Tel: +27 (0)31 301 2145
Fax: +27 (0)31 301 2145
Email: mc@gaycentre.org.za
Activities: counseling, mental health, HIV, support, advocacy.
- Website

 

Spiritual

DEO GLORIA FAMILY CHURCH
A GLBT church which welcomes all people and is also registered to do same-sex marriages. 48 Gordon Road Morningside Durban. Services at 6pm every Sunday.
Tel: 031 562 8869
Email: deborah@deogloriakzn.co.za - Website

 

DIAKONIA COUNCIL OF CHURCHES
Contact: The Director on (031) 310 3500 - E-Mail

 

Mpumalanga

Health

H4M / OUT - MAFIKENG
Counselling, condom distribution, library, workshops and support groups and other services for LGBT people. 98 Rowlands Estate, Mafikeng, 2745. Contact Mildred Maropefela Cell: 073 157 1791, email: milly.maropefela@gmail.com or Hendrik Baird, cell: 083 698 7998 email: hennieb@ananzi.co.za. Facebook: search for OUT LGBT Well-being : North West. - Website

 

Western Cape

General Organisations

CAPE TOWN ATTIC
HIV/ AIDS Testing and Counseling. HIV and AIDS training for the Government throughout the Western Cape. Telephone at (021) 763 5320. - Website

 

CAPE TOWN PRIDE
Cape Town Pride is run by volunteers through a non-profit company which organises the event.
E-mail: info@capetownpride.co.za
Phone: 083 919 2525 - Call Pride Connect for updated info on Pride events
Postal Address: PO BOX 36121 Glosderry 7702 - Website

 

GAY & LESBIAN LIBRARY
A well stocked library of queer reading material. From 9am to 5 pm and on Tuesdays & Wednesday evenings from 6-8pm. Contact: Heather at (021) 448 3812 for more info 

 

GAY AND LESBIAN HELPLINE
General information and confidential telephonic counselling to the LGBT community. From 1pm - 9pm daily. Helpline number: (021) 4222 500 

 

LGBT PARENTS
If you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered and are a parent please contact Glenn on +27(0)21 448 3812 if you are interested in joining the group. 

 

RAINBOWUCT
RainbowUCT is a registered student society at the University of Cape Town run entirely by students, and exists for all people who appreciate sexual diversity. We celebrate and promote an individual's right to choose their own lifestyle. We offer support to people coming to terms with their own sexuality and strive to create an environment that is accepting, tolerant and free of homophobia both on our campus and in the wider community. Additionally, we promote activism and education within these communities. - E-Mail

 

SWEAT
Sex Worker Education and Advocacy Taskforce. Tel: (021) 448 7875. - Website

 

THE TRIANGLE PROJECT
Activities: counseling, mental health, HIV, support, advocacy.
Unit 29, Waverley Business Park, Winchester St, Mowbray
PO Box 13935, Mowbray, 7705
Tel: +27 (0)21 448 3812
Fax: +27 (0)21 448 4089
Helpline: +27 (0)21 422 2500
Email: info@triangle.org.za - Website

 

TRANSGENDERED & TRANSSEXUAL SUPPORT GROUP
For anyone who identifies themselves as transgender, transsexual or similar. Contact Glenn / Heather at (021) 448 3812 

 

Health

24 HOUR AIDS HELPLINE
Book an appointment by phoning (021) 448 3812 during office hours, or telephone the Helpline on (021) 422 2500 and page "gay helpline". 

HEALTH4MEN IVAN TOMS CLINIC - WOODSTOCK - CAPE TOWN
HIV & STI testing & treatment, provision of ARVs & PEP, sexual health advice and counselling to gay, bi and men who have sex with men. Top Gate, Woodstock Hospital, Victoria Walk Road, Woodstock. Tel: 021 447 2844. Facebook: search for Health4Men. - Website

 

HEALTH4MEN OFFICE - GREEN POINT - CAPE TOWN
1st Floor, 24 Napier Street, De Waterkant, Green Point. Tel: 021 421 6127. Fax: 021 421 7658. E-mail: info@health4men.co.za. Facebook: search for Health4Men. - Website

 

HIV + MEN SUPPORT GROUP
HIV + Gay men support group. Call Heather on (021) 448 3812

 

LIFE LINE AIDS HELPLINE
Tel 0800 01 2322 toll free. 

 

MEDICAL CONSULTATIONS
General clinic-Tuesday evening. womyn's clinic – first Wednesday evening of each new month. Geared towards the LGBT community. To make an appointment call Heather on (021) 448 3812 

 

TREATMENT ACTION CAMPAIGN
Treatment Action Campaign for people living with HIV/ Aids. Contact: 021 788 3507 

 

Spiritual

GAY AND LESBIAN CHRISTIAN OUTREACH
PO Box 108, Kalk Bay, 7974. Tel: 082 5577 060 

GOOD HOPE METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH
Service time: 18:00 each Sunday. Zonnebloem College Chape, Cambridge Street, Zonnebloem (Walmer Estate), Cape Town. Tel: 083 2933923 or 021 7885769. E-mail: welcome@goodhopemcc.org. - Website

 

GRAHAMSTOWN CHRISTIAN SUPPORT GROUP
Contact: Wendy / Ann. PO Box 395, Grahamstown, 6140. Tel: (046) 622 3937

 

PILGRIMS
Gay Catholic group. Tel: 61 2750 or 788 8759 

 

UNIVERSITY OF CAPE TOWN - GAY/LESBIAN GROUP
Contact: Brian. Tel: 088 130 0201. E-mail: gayuct@yahoo.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are here and we are proud!

So it finally happened, South Africa erected its first gay billboard near Melrose Arch on M1 South.

Arranged by John-Louis O'Neil, designed by Kyle Correia De Araujo and facilitated by Calum Stevenson and Gold Reef City.

Makes me feel all patriotic and proudly South African everytime i look at this photo!

Well done South Africa!

Melanie Nathan from O-blog-dee-o-blog-da Life goes on…. wrote:

JOHANNESBURG -Great excitement hit the gay community in South Africa Monday, when the first ever gay Billboard went up in South Africa, near Melrose Arch on M1 South in Johannesburg.

Much to the awe of the empowered LGBTI community in South Africa, the tone is set to ready the country for the Mr. Gay World event to be held in Johannesburg next month, April 2012.

Arranged by John-Louis O’Neil, designed by Kyle Correia De Araujo, facilitated by Calum Stevenson and Gold Reef City, the bill board depicts two contestants including the Mr. GAY S.A. 2011, Francois Nel, and Mr. GAY S.A. 2010, Charl Van den Berg, both who won the Mr. Gay World for South Africa in the past two years.

The billboard can be viewed at this location by tens of thousands of motorists and passers by each day, providing visibility not only for the event itself, but also inviting the affirming notion that “gay is okay,” in a country where notwithstanding full constitutional equality, homophobia is quite rife.

This year’s Mr. Gay World will be held at various venues in Johannesburg, including the finale at the Lyric Theatre, on April 8th.

The historic event is the first time that 3 gay black Africans will participate, despite criminalization of homosexuality in their respective countries, noting that Mr. Gay Zimbabwe dropped out, citing “personal reasons.”

The Mr. Gay World Competition is a public performance where the delegates represent their nation as spokesperson and embody the spirit of their nation.

The competition takes place over an intense four days and includes various challenges including a photo challenge, sports challenge, fashion show/run way challenge, swimming and more.

The Mr. Gay World Organization is an event where participants from all over the world, with hopes of increasing the affirmative image for gay people, compete, intending to make a ‘difference’ in encouraging full acceptance. The participants are all viewed as ambassadors for local and international issues and causes.

More Articles by Melanie HERE

Intervention Is Needed In Africa

Was given permission to post this on my blog, thank you Lance!

Intervention Is Needed In Africa

By Lance Weyer
Once again we have had a week of our ‘morally superior’ African leaders bashing homosexual rights at every turn.
Discrimination and abuse have continued unabated in Uganda when their Ethics and Integrity Minister (Yes, seriously, they have such a person!) Simon Lotodo warned gay activists to stop assembling. “They cannot organise any other meeting. Let them remain at their homes and suffer their illnesses from there. For the love of God and humanity, I will leave no stone unturned until I defeat them and dissuade them from recruiting young people,” Lotodo said in an interview.

Not be outdone by the “kill the gays bill” before parliament in Uganda, Liberian Senator Jewel Taylor, the ex-wife of ousted former president accused of war crimes and crimes against humanity, has submitted a bill that would prohibit same-sex marriage and make homosexuality a first-degree felony, punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

In Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe, the man credited with ruining the economy of a country once seen as Africa’s bread basket, used his 88th birthday celebration to again condemn the “insanity” of homosexuality — and blast U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron’s call to end human rights abuses in Africa, in the same breath.

It has also emerged that he final draft of the new Zimbabwean constitution will criminalise homosexuality and ban same-sex marriages. This comes after Mugabe’s arch-rival, Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, advocated the inclusion of gay rights in the new constitution.

Meanwhile in Cameroon, 10 women have been arrested under suspicion that they are lesbians.
What is to be done about these countries? Even with pro-gay UN resolutions and positive statements from South Africa, it seems to me that the situation for LGBTI people in Africa is getting worse by the day.

What can the west do to stem the tide of discrimination and abuse suffered by LGBTI people in Africa? Positive talk has been happening, but at this moment it is just talk and no action. I am in agreement with David Cameron who warned in October last year that the U.K. could cut bilateral aid from nations that fail to protect gay rights. "We are not just talking about it. We are also saying that British aid should have more strings attached," Cameron said.

African LGBTI and human rights activists have slammed the British government for threatening to cut aid to countries that have anti-gay policies or laws. These groups claimed that such a move would disregard the role of the LGBTI and broader social justice movement on the continent and creates the risk of a serious backlash against LGBTI people.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and take a clear stance on the proposed British position – the activists are mistaken! Clearly the LGBTI social movement in Africa is having little effect, and a more aggressive political stance is needed in order to protect LGBTI people. It is ironic that laws criminalising homosexuality are a legacy of British rule, but repressive African countries (most of which rely heavily on foreign aid) should be willing to adhere to basic human rights principles if they want to receive these huge cash injections finish en klaar! It’s time that nations stand together against human rights abuses like this and abandon the current spineless political attitude we currently see.

Read more of Lance Weyer's writings on his Personal Blog.

Family matters...

We all get born into some kind of family, your relation by blood or by friendship bond it doesn't matter. Family are there to love and support you no matter what you did, mind you some "crimes" are pushing the limit but even that can be forgiven and over looked by family.

What i do not understand is that we allow families to drift apart, brothers and sisters not speaking and cousins robbed of the experience of growing up together. Why do we do that, how can we allow that to even happen, someone should have stop it before it even started.

Pick up a phone or write an email just to find out if they are healthy and to catch up on the resent events in their lives, its that easy... you don't even need a reason, just make the damn call.
Why do we wait for events like weddings and funerals to get together and even then its very wonky at the best of times? A call on your birthday, Christmas is something that most of us adore and appreciate but for some people that call never comes, because of aunt so and so not talking to you or anyone in the family, no one even knows why but they are too stubborn to let go of the feud.

Our families hold the keys to understanding and appreciating ourselves. Who can relate better to us then our own brother or sister that shared so many experiences with us? Who can love us more selflessly then our own mother or father who sacrificed daily for so many years to raise us? The better we understand our parents and siblings the better we understand ourselves. This understanding is most completely achieved as we look to our family's heritage with the help of our oldest living relatives. By discovering the customs, practises and traditions of our ancestors we uncover truths about our parents and ourselves. We find out how our grandparents treated our parents and so on from generation to generation. We discover the ambitions and fears of our forefathers along with their failures and triumphs. In the process of learning our family history we uncover our past, understand our present and shape our future.

Life is too short people, we live in an era where we need people around us to support and motivate us. There is no room for feuds, silly fights and things that happened in the past. With all the technology we are exposed to today there should be NO excuse to not stay in contact, Black berry messenger, Skye, Face book, Twitter and many many offer you every imaginable way to say that i love you or lets get together on so and so weekend and make a family affair of it. yet we don't do that, pride is the problem, we are waiting for the other party to make the first move, a move that might never come.

Anyone can die at any time. There is no time to wait, the time is now. Fix the bridges and walk across it hand in hand, bury the hatchet and move on. Most of us still have at least one or maybe both grand parents, think about them, how would you feel if you were in their shoes and you saw that the family you adore is so far apart that it seems hopeless. They will not be with us for ever, make each second count!. Honor their legacy and show them that they build up a strong and loving family.

Out of all the things i have lost, i miss my family the most - author unknown

When a College Football Team Defended Its Gay Captain...

Just had to share this with you guys, made me smile from ear to ear while reading it, the people around me probably thought i was looking at some porn or something because all they could see was the massive smile on my face lol

Took just one to come and have a look and it was prompted a discussion about how nice that was of them.

My quarterback and I... I think we were walking back to the car to get beer out of the trunk. And out of nowhere, the guy turns around and goes, "Yo, Sims. You gay?" And it completely caught me off guard, and I really quickly said, "Yeah, man, thanks for asking." And we both sort of stood there. It was one of those things where it felt like five minutes; it was probably five seconds. And he says, "Cool, man, thanks for telling me." And we just sort of kept on walking like it hadn't happened. And we got to the car, picked up some beer, walked back.

For the next three months, Brian couldn't go anywhere without one of his teammates stopping him to say, "Hey, man, just wanted to let you know, I heard, and it's really cool with me, I got no problems with that, sorry about anything I might have said."

One day, when running drills on the practice field, Brian's position coach, who definitely hadn't caught wind of Brian being gay, said something that put a serious damper on everyone's mood. Brian explains:
We had all these high school kids down doing some drill. They were down on all fours, spinning in a circle, something that's probably not going to make them better football players, but we needed to kill time, and my position coach, who clearly hadn't heard yet, yells out loud from probably 40 feet away while this kid's down on all fours, "Yeah, this is Sims' favorite drill!" thinking he was just making a dig on me.

While Brian was prepared to let it roll off his back, his teammates weren't so forgiving.
My teammates who were out there and heard it all sort of froze for a second. There's, you know, 50 guys up on this field, probably 300 high-school football players, and everybody just stopped dead in their tracks. And clearly my coach had no idea what was going on. I knew exactly what was going on. And these guys sort of started to converge on him. And I ran up, kind of broke it up; I don't think he had any idea of what was going on. And after practice, I went to go talk to him to sort of explain what was going on, and he walked right past me, didn't say a word.

Brian was terrified of what the outcome of the situation would be. No matter how many times he tried to speak to the coach, he would ignore him. The following morning, when preparing to go back to the practice field, the coach stood up on a table, surrounded by the entire team.
He says, "I need everybody's attention. Yesterday I said something really f***ing stupid. I've spent my career teaching you guys what it means to be teammates, and yesterday you guys had to teach me what it means to be a teammate." And that was it, and that was the end of it. And it was still the sort of defining moment for me. I knew my team would be all right when they had to pull my coaches aside and say, "You better be alright with this, because we all are."

Watch the full video:

Now if that doesn't put a smile on your face...nothing will!
MG

CANSA Shavathon 2012

CANSA: Leading the fight against cancer in South Africa

CANSA Shavathon is one of South Africa’s best-loved events in support of a worthy cause.
This is the 9^th national CANSA Shavathon, independently managed by CANSA staff and volunteers. Losing one’s hair is a common side-effect of cancer therapy – so shaving your head has become a symbolic gesture of support for cancer survivors.

Colouring your hair or paying a Bail Out Fee have become options for those who prefer not to shave.  Or become actively engaged and make a difference by signing up as a volunteer.
CANSA Shavathon is being held in over 300 workplaces and organisations on 1 and 2 March 2012, and in over 200 shopping centres on 3 and 4 March 2012.

New for CANSA Shavathon 2012 is an online platform for volunteers and corporate South Africa to take part as online ‘Champions’ by raising funds.  Start raising funds online as a Shavathon Champion and join CANSA’s online community to help spread the word far and wide.
Click on the link if your school, work place or organisation would like to take part in CANSA Shavathon 2012 and challenge your competition to do so too!  Or if you would like your shopping venue to participate, please contact us.
About CANSA

CANSA offers a unique integrated service to the public and all people affected by cancer. As a leading role-player in cancer research (more than R5 million spent annually), the scientific findings and knowledge gained from our research are used to realign our health programmes as well as strengthen our watchdog role to the greater benefit of the public.

Our wide-reaching health programme includes prevention and education campaigns, CANSA Care Centres that offer stoma and lymphoedema clinics, medical equipment hire, toll-free line and support to children and their families affected by cancer. Patient care and support in the form of 13 CANSA Care Homes and the main metropolitan areas plus one hospitium (based in Polokwane) for out-of-town cancer patients as well as CANSA-TLC Lodging for paediatric oncology parents.

CANSA has 60 offices – including a national office and satellite offices – nationwide and thus has the necessary infrastructure to reach most South Africans within their own communities.
CANSA’s purpose is to lead the fight against cancer in South Africa and it is striving to be the preferred non-profit leader that enables research, educates the public and provides support to all people affected by cancer.

CANSA is one of the leading cancer control organisations in Southern Africa. CANSA funds cancer research (more than R4,5 million annually), influences policy makers (watchdog role) and educates the public on the prevention and detection of cancer, as well as providing comprehensive support to people affected by, or treated for cancer. Read about CANSA’s unique, integrated service to the public: CANSA Cares Pamphlet | KANSA Gee Om Pamflet. Read more…
In order to fund our unique, integrated service, CANSA relies on the goodwill of individual, government and corporate partners to support projects such as CANSA Shavathon. See leaflet regarding the distribution of funds raised at Shavathon…
Visit www.cansa.org.za or call CANSA toll-free 0800 22 66 22, or email: info@cansa.org.za
We all love CANSA Shavathon!



This is something that i have supported for the last 3 years now, still trying to get my mom to go for a shave lol but i wont give up. This is for one of the best causes you can ever get involved with, its fun and we show that we care by being part of this event.
To show my support since my hair is ...well very short i will have my head painted in a bright color!

Will post a pic on the day to show that i practice what i preach!

And no that's is not a troll it a mutantgnome in the wild!

Feels nice in this heat lol

Now its your turn!

You are never alone...

I had the chance to chat with a close friend today, the topic of coming out came up a few times, He wanted to know how i did it, if it was easy and if i can give him any advice.

When i got back home i started thinking about the conversation i had less than 30 min ago, reliving some of the fear on his face and voice. It made me realise that i had it relatively easy coming out, i can say that now since i have been out and proud for a few years already, but back then it seems like what was the most terrifying thing to do.

For years i hid who i was, acting like my straight friends i got away with it all, no one had any idea that i was gay. That all took its toll when i lay in my bed late at night, often crying myself asleep because of living a double life and the stress that came with that. Always being aware that any mistake you made could out me, any look i gave someone could betray me and expose my lie.

All the stress and the fear of being caught eventually convinced me that living two lives is not something i want to do for even one day more than i have to. Even as little as 6 years ago coming out was not easy, people often got met with disgust and disappointment. For me the disappointment was the main thing that fuelled the fear of coming out to my parents. I am not saying that i am scared of my parents, they are not monsters, i was scared of hurting them more than i am hurting myself.

My mom worked as a receptionist when i made this choice to tell her everything. For six weeks it took everything i had in me not to break down every time i saw her or my dad, finding the strength to go and speak to her was however not that easy, during those six weeks i must have walked over to her office a few times a day, then i would look at her from across the street see her smile and turn back too scared that i will never see that smile again if i go ahead with coming out.

One sunny day i woke up and decided its now or never, walked over to my mom and her office, it was almost lunch time and she was alone there, Without taking a fresh breath of air i told her that i need to talk to her about something urgently, that's where i finally broke down and told her everything about my double lives. What she did next pissed me off like you would never believe, after all that, the stress of telling her, the fear of loosing her all she did was look at me, take my face between her hands and go " I am your mother, do you think i am blind, of course i know, you are my son and i love you no matter what"
I just stood there, in my mind i was shouting THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING lol eventually i just burst out in laughter, i cant stay angry at my mom after that lol

The rest of my immediate family accepted the news as if it was just news, nothing changed in their minds, i was still me.

I do realise that not all people are as forgiving as my family or friends, i am not going to sit here and tell you that it was not hard, because for me it was hard, fear and my mind made it hard for me. Some people react with anger even violence and disgust, but you know what, they will get over it. It might take some time but they will still love you even if it looks like they don't.

Look at it this way, its never easy for a mother to hear that her son is gay, its even worse for your dad and all the hopes and dreams he had for you, but they are your parents they will always love you no matter what, i admit that it could take time but you must do this for yourself not for a friend or even the love of your life.

Since that day it feels like the biggest weight has been lifted from my shoulders, i am free to be me and no one else. My relationship with my family and especially my dad improved, i am closer to my brother and my mom became my best friend.
My point with writing this is not to urge anyone to out them selves because they have to, i wanted to share this to show that it wasn't nearly as bad as i made it for myself, my mind made this much worse than it was, i realise that you don't know how people will react so don't assume the worst all the time.

Even if it goes badly, you must always remember one thing, there are many people, family and friends that will support you, that will never stop loving you for being gay, being gay doesn't change who you have always been, all it does is attach a label to you that you didn't ask for.

Please feel free to send me a mail if you need help, i can give advice or just listen, but at least you will not be alone in dealing with this. I am just a normal man with hope and love for my fellow man and a desire to help if i can.
All emails can be send to themutantfiles@gmail.com. and i will personally answer each one.

No matter how bad things get, remember one short sentence, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!

Love
MG

a Sad day as Zim delegate leaves Mr Gay World...

www.mrgayworld.org

Left - Taurai Simba C Zhanje

The Mr Gay World Organisation has announced that Taurai Zhanje, the delegate from Zimbabwe has withdrawn from the competition due to ‘personal reasons’.

The Director for Africa, Coenie Kukkuk said: “We are sad to loose Taurai, but in Africa, the personal sacrifice for gay and human rights is sometimes too much to expect from people. Taurai already made a very brave stand against the oppression of the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual and intersex persons and we have to respect his decision. We wish him and his family only the best for the future.” 

Kukkuk said that they will explore all avenues to find another country from Africa to take Zimbabwe’s place, but that the general political climate in Africa is not conducive to LGBTI rights being recognised and that it will be very difficult to do so.  

Recently, at an African Union summit in the Ethiopian capital Addis Ababa, United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon has urged African leaders to respect gay rights.

 The Mr Gay World competition is defined as an annual contest for gay men, seeking to establish ambassadors for LGBT and human rights, with winners of national contests competing as delegates in a variety of categories. It is not a beauty contest and there is no age limit. This competition is the most publicized gay contest in the world and unashamedly uses the attention it garners to focus attention on the plight of LGBTI people worldwide, with the focus in 2012 being on African LGBTIs specifically. The delegate chosen to represent his peers on a global stage will not only have the inner beauty of confidence, self assurance, charisma and natural leadership abilities but he will also take care in his outward appearance. He will also have knowledge of LGBTI general history and recent news.

The competition is set to take place in Johannesburg, South Africa, from 4 to 8 April 2012. 

The news that Taurai left the competition came as a great shock to most people but we are sure that this brave man had good reasons, on his face book profile its clear to see just how humble this man is.

"wow messages of support pouring in from all walks of life..wow me inspiring others, I never dreamt that, thank you very much, I'm very humbled"

Taurai is an inspiration for so many people, myself included, To stand up for his rights and be himself in a world where gay men are often prosecuted should be seen for what it was, BRAVERY! People will remember him not for leaving the contest, but for the great and inspirational guy that he is.  I am sure that his presence at this years Mr Gay World being held in Johannesburg South Africa later this year will be greatly missed.

I want to wish him the best of luck for the future and any project that he might be undertaking.

MG

For more, see the websites www.mrgayworld.org and www.mrgsa.co.za and for online bookings for the Grand Finale see  http://online.computicket.com/web/event/mr_gay_world_2012_grand_finale/477720853/referer:-highlights-index-2-0-2012_04_08-grid-

A cool guy will say no...

If there is one thing i have never been able to understand then it is the need to "use" something to have  a good time. People seems to have lost the ability to enjoy life, a party or just a normal night in without having to get drunk or even worse get high. As much as i would like to say that we as gay people are excluded from this behaviour i can not, because the gay lifestyle seems to be fueled by drugs. Being on a high makes you look like an idiot and waking up the next day because you went on a booze binge to drown your problems will just make things worse.

I am no saint at all, and i will never say that i have no need for anything, but i do not drink, not much anyway, i tried it when i was younger, just never got "used" to it, most i will ever do is a beer or two and some wine but then i must also add that i have a six pack in my fridge that was bought for newyears eve 2011 and all that i drank from it was one bottle.

My only "i must have" is my sigarets, and yes i know they are adictive, boy do i know, i have tried to give up but they just wont let me go! But thats as far as i will go. For the rest of the drugs, no thankyou and if saying no makes me a looser, then atleast i will die a happy drug free looser.
I have tried drugs before, coke to be exact and i did it twice, the first time the bubbles tickled my throat and the second time the ice cube got stuck in my nose :(

I wanted to see just how bad the scene became regarding drugs in gay clubs and social events, and what i found made my yaw drop to the floor. I have seen drug use myself at various clubs with a "no drugs" policy, but never in my life did i think that it was this bad.

Young gay men are much more likely than straight men to take drugs, including ecstasy, cocaine and marijuana, according to two studies in Britain and America.
Nearly one-third of men surveyed in the United States who had sex with other men said they used drugs at least once a week, and lifetime use of cocaine was nearly twice as high as that of the general age-group. Two out of three of the men said that they had used drugs in the previous six months.
The study, published in the American Journal of Public Health, included 3,492 young men aged between 15 and 22.

'The people that we spoke to were in an environment that was surrounded by drugs,' said Linda Valleroy, an epidemiologist and one of the report's authors. 'There were synchronised epidemics of HIV, drug use and depressive behaviour.'
New research by the mental health charity Mind showed that the trend is replicated in Britain with drug use consistently higher among gay men and lesbian women.

'The gay scene is bar and club orientated,' said Monty Moncrieff, project co-ordinator at Antidote, a drugs service for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. 'That is where people go to meet other gay people and there is a lot of cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine and GHB around. It is a hedonistic culture and often the lifestyle and recreational drug use go hand in hand.'

Jason, 23, is a gay man living in London who spends most of his weekends partying. On Saturday nights he dances until the early hours among a throng of sweaty bodies and then carries on till the afternoon at one of the city's trendy after-club parties.

He is usually in a haze of euphoria slipping between the highs of ecstasy and cocaine, the surreal nature of ketamine and the lull of marijuana. 'We'll do it again on Sunday,' he says. 'The weekend isn't over until well into Monday.'
By the end of this weekend Jason will have taken a cocktail of five different drugs.
'It is still a hangover from the ecstasy house music boom which did to some extent start in the gay clubs of London,' says David Smith, a senior health promotion officer for gay men.

'It may be because their social life is a very important part of identity - certainly compared to heterosexuals. Gay men also continue to take drugs for much longer than heterosexuals, long after others have chosen to settle down with a family.'

But while much of the drug use is club-related, with recreational drugs being taken as a lifestyle choice, there are concerns that drug use among gay men can be a form of escapism from difficult lives. 'Many people may feel repressed in everyday life,' said Moncrieff. 'They may have to hide their sexuality in the week.'

The study by Mind shows that gay, lesbian and bisexual people are more likely to suffer psychological stress than straight people, with gay men 13 per cent more likely to harm themselves and lesbians 6 per cent more likely.

How accurate these studies are i can not say, but you have to admit that its shocking and i have a feeling not too far from the truth.

Another widely used "drug" and i am using the term drug loosely is poppers, we all now what poppers do, we all know that feeling when used, but did you know that abuse and constant use of poppers can cause cancer?

It’s well known that many gay men use poppers to relax whilst having anal sex, especially for the first time. Younger gay men or those just coming out are therefore much more likely to find a use for poppers, not only for the pleasurable and relaxing affects making anal sex more comfortable but also to allay fear and anxiety associated with their first gay sexual encounters. Unlike with alcohol and cigarettes, the relatively unregulated and discreet nature and convenience offered by by sex shops, saunas and internet mail order services ensures that any age restriction on the sale of poppers to under-age customers would be difficult to enforce. HIV is now at it’s highest rate ever, particularly amongst the current generation of young gay men in our big cities, many of whom failed to received adequate sexual health education at school.

“Both human and animal studies indicate that poppers use significantly suppresses the immune system.” US Toxicology-Clinical Study

Life is so much better when you can see the whole picture guys, dont miss out on what is around you. Have fun at that party or the braai with your friends, but do it in a responsible way. You are alive and you do not need anything to enhance your life or the way you live it. You can enjoy anything while being sober or not on a high, its your choice no one can make that choice for you.

If you meet this cute guy and he wants you to have some "fun" and make the sex better then you dont need to be with that guy, find one that will let you be you, dont give in to your believes just because everyone else is doing it.  

Just because it looked cool on queer as folk and many other tv shows does not mean that you have to be a drug addict or try it to be cool, being cool in my mind is the one person that have the balls to say NO THANKYOU

Love

MG