Saturday 14 December 2013

Goodbye Tata...

I'm watching Madiba's final sendoff atm, his last flight from Gauteng to his home and final resting place in Qunu. The last few days have been so surreal yet seeing them load his coffin in preparation for his last journey, somehow made it real. I choked up for the first time, a huge lump in my throat! We as South Africans and to be honest the world could have learned so much from that man! He was not a God, he was however an extraordinary man that shaped this nation into what i hope will be an example that the rest of the world can still learn from.




People wait on the roadside to see a hearse carrying the casket of former president Nelson Mandela.

A child draped national flag gestures while taking a photo of the procession as the body of former president, Nelson Mandela arrives at the Waterkloof Air Force Base in Pretoria.
 

South African President Jacob Zuma (C) wipes his tears while sitting beside Mandela's widow Graca Machel (L) and Mandela's ex-wife Winnie Mandela during a send-off ceremony for late former South African President Nelson Mandela at Waterkloof Air Force base in Pretoria.

 The coffin of former South African President Nelson Mandela is escorted aboard a military cargo plane after a send-off ceremony at Waterkloof Air Force base in Pretoria.

Madiba leaving Gauteng for the last time...

I'm Free"

Don't grieve for me for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call.
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work, or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I've found that peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow:
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full I've savored much,
Good times, good friends, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all to brief,
Don't lenghten it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, he set me free.

Funiest picture i have EVER seen!

Ok, this might be the funniest thing i have ever seen! who ever made it is a fucking genius!


Atleast now we know what he was signing!

MG!

Friday 13 December 2013

My top 10 music videos for 2013.

Well we have come to that part of the year where pictures of snow and cats in christmas hats fills our timelines on every social media outlet, also top ten lists pop up everywhere. Since i am basically a sheep in a human body it would be wrong of me not to do one myself, so here goes!.

This is my top ten videos for 2013!

1) Drake Jensen - Scars
"Scars" From Drake Jensen's second studio album, OUTlaw. Visit http://www.drakejensen.ca
Drake Jensen is a Canadian Country artist, originally from Cape Breton NS.


2) Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball (Chatroulette Version)
Video created by Steve Kardynal
http://www.facebook.com/SteveKardynal...


3) Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen (Chatroulette Version) 
 by Steve Kardynal
http://www.facebook.com/SteveKardynal... 


 

4) A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera - Say Something 
 

5) Blurred Bynes by DWV (Detox, Willam & Vicky Vox) 

6) J Pee - I'M NOT GAY

7) Clouds by Zach Sobiech

8) One Direction - Story of My Life

9) Avicii - Hey Brother 

10) Katy Perry - Roar 
 

I do know this is not in everyones taste but that is what makes this world of ours so exciting! 
Hope you enjoyed my top 10 pics for this post, feel free to make a post and let me know what you would have picked?

MG




Thursday 12 December 2013

World Federation of the Deaf - Joint statement with WASLI

WFD-WASLI Joint Statement about the Sign Language interpretation at Mandela’s memorial service

The memorial service for late South African President Nelson Mandela took place on Tuesday, 10 December 2013 in Johannesburg, South Africa. The World Federation of the Deaf (WFD) and the World Association of Sign Language Interpreters (WASLI) are concerned about the quality of sign language interpretation during that event.

The memorial service was followed on television by several deaf South Africans, who were disappointed on the level of interpretation of this high level gathering. A board member of the WFD Youth Section, Braam Jordaan described that the interpreter did not know South African Sign Language (SASL): "The structure of his hand, facial expressions and the body movement did not follow what the speaker was saying." He raised concerns also how this interpreter was chosen to interpret without any professional qualifications, evaluations and screening. Also the current WFD Vice-President Wilma Newhoudt-Druchen followed the event on television and confirmed the poor level of sign language interpretation. She commented: "What is he signing? He knows that the deaf cannot vocally boo him off. Shame on him." During the television broadcasting a proper sign language interpreter was provided on the left corner of the screen, which made it obvious that the interpreter, who was present in the event, did not know SASL or any sign language at all.

WFD and WASLI would like to announce a public statement about the importance of quality interpreter services in any public event. It is the responsibility of organisers to ensure that access to information is guaranteed for deaf audience. Article 21 of the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD) points out that deaf people have a right to choose their form of communication and State Parties shall ensure “accepting and facilitating the use of sign languages.. and all other accessible means of communication of their choice by persons with disabilities in official interactions”. The same article continues that State Parties shall take all appropriate measures to ensure recognizing and promoting the use of sign languages. Further the Article 9 of UNCRPD requires "State Parties to take appropriate measures to ensure to persons with disabilities access on an equal basis with others.. to information and communications..." This means professional sign language interpreters, who know the national sign language and deaf culture.

WFD and WASLI want to underline the need to co-operate with local Deaf organisations, in this case in South Africa; stress the need for trained, qualified interpreters to be used, and the emphasis on the need for access that is based on direction from deaf people.




Wednesday 11 December 2013

The day South Africa hung its head in shame...


As a South African it is our duty and responsibility to be proud of our nation and its leaders, that said i never thought that the day would come that i would admit to being ashamed of my own country. Yet that day has come, on Tuesday, December 10, 2013 the world watched as we remembered a fallen hero. A man that inspired a planet and led us as South Africans to a rainbow nation, Nelson Mandela or as we knew him Madiba.

Dignitaries from all over attended and praised Madiba for all the work he has done over his long and amazing lifetime. A country in morning sat riveted and watched as one after the other praised Madiba with the utmost respect and gave emotional, heartfelt speeches. The heavens opened up earlier in the morning yet supporters sat and listened with respect and a profound sense of loss. As President Barak Obama took the podium he was greeted with a resounding roar as the crowed cheered for him, what was to follow was in my opinion of the most heartfelt and emotional speeches of the day.

When US President Barack Obama took to the stage at a soaked FNB Stadium this afternoon, his speech brought both world leaders and ordinary South Africans to their feet. Here are the 10 key moments from that speech:

1. Obama started by honoring ordinary South Africans, a tip of the hat that was well received in the stands.
“His struggle was your struggle. His triumph was your triumph. Your dignity and hope found expression in his life, and your freedom, your democracy is his cherished legacy,” he told the crowd.

2. He noted that Mandela, despite his status as a global icon, always considered himself as just a man – a gentle reminder well received by South Africans who recognize and often embrace Mandela’s flaws as much as they celebrate his strengths.
Obama shared one of Mandela’s most famous quotes: “I’m not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.”

3. He offered a shout out to other struggle icons, and the ANC, acknowledging Mandela’s status as a hero alongside other heroes and a stalwart of the organisation: “But like other early giants of the ANC – the Sisulus and Tambos – Madiba disciplined his anger; and channelled his desire to fight into organisation, and platforms, and strategies for action, so men and women could stand up for their dignity.”

4. He gently reminded us that Mandela’s fight was for a multiracial society, invoking one of the statesman’s most famous statements at the Rivonia Trial: “I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I’ve cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”

5. He used just the right language – towards the end of his speech, the US president spoke of “Ubuntu”, to a rousing cheer from the cold, damp crowd.

6. He picked key moments in Mandela’s presidency carefully, mentioning Mandela’s role as sporting icon and unifier (“taking to the pitch in a Springbok uniform”) and a man not afraid to speak against the tide (“turning his family’s heartbreak into a call to confront HIV/AIDS”).

7. He turned the focus back to ordinary people, asking how Mandela’s lessons could be applied every day.

8. After President Jacob Zuma’s chilly reception from sections of the crowd, Obama took a dig at “leaders who claim solidarity with Madiba’s struggle for freedom, but do not tolerate dissent from their own people”.

9. He sneaked in a little well-timed humility: “Over 30 years ago, while still a student, I learnt of Mandela and the struggles in this land. It stirred something in me. It woke me up to my responsibilities – to others, and to myself – and set me on an improbable journey that finds me here today. And while I will always fall short of Madiba’s example, he makes me want to be better.” Cue rousing cheers from the crowd.

10. Obama wrapped up with a little populism, throwing in this quote from what’s widely acknowledged as Mandela’s favorite poem, Invictus: “It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”

With a few other dignitaries following President Obama in honoring Madiba it eventually got to the point where South Africa would get to hear from its own President Jakob Zuma to deliver his emotional memorial to his great friend, Madiba...

What we got was not a heartfelt emotional tribute to Madiba at all, infact it was the most cold hearted speech i have ever heard. Zuma showed no emotion at all, it was as if he was reading from a wikipedia page about Madiba. NO personal feelings, no moment together, just a robot reading a badly written speech, a speech he probably did not even see before he got to the podium. A nation sat in shocked as they watched the spectacle that was our president yet nothing could have prepared us for what was to follow.

South africa woke up to the news that one of the enterpretors was a fake, the whole world watched as a man that can not even understand sign language made up crap as he "translated"
This is some of the responses...


As South Africans we feel humiliated and ashamed and it is all the work of the government, the same people that is suppose to make us feel protected. Yes the crowd did boo President Zuma but in all fairness he deserved every single boo he got, he is an embarrassment for us as the people that live here! The Local government wants to have all footage of Zuma being boo'd banned from being broadcast because its humiliating for him, no the humiliation came from Zuma himself, the damage has been done, you cant make people unsee something simply because you made an idiot of yourself.

Maybe its time for Zuma to go and hide in his R210 million Nkandla scandal!
A petition has been started to impeach President Jacob Zuma over his involvement in the Nkandla scandal and it can be found here.




Monday 9 December 2013

The 12 cocktails of Christmas

Eggnog

Eggnog
Eggnog has been around for a very long time, in both its alcoholic and non-alcoholic forms. It’s most associated with Christmas, but has traditionally been served throughout the season from Halloween to New Years. It’s very filling and therefore probably best served at parties with munchies rather than along with meals.
It’s an ideal drink for premixing pitchers to keep guests happy all night long. Always make both alcoholic and non-alcoholic pitchers of it, unless you’re absolutely sure all your guests go one way or the other. One final tip about serving eggnog: have another drink entirely on hand. Some people don’t like the taste and others need to avoid the amount of cholesterol this drink gets from the eggs. It is possible to make low-fat and vegan versions of this drink by using low-fat dairy, egg substitute and/or a vegetable milk such as almond.

Recipe

This makes a little over two quarts.
  • 6 eggs
  • 1 cup of sugar
  • 3/4 cup brandy
  • 1/3 cup dark rum(or bourbon)
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg
  • 2 cups of whipping cream
  • 2 cups milk
Refrigerate all the liquids and get them very cold before you make the drink. Beat the eggs at medium speed until they’re very frothy. Gradually add the sugar, vanilla and nutmeg as you continue beating. Now turn the mixer off and stir in the whipping cream, milk, brandy and rum. Chill it until you’re ready to serve. It’s best to keep it chilled at all times. Garnish each individual serving with the nutmeg sprinkled on top and a cinnamon stick.
The non-alcoholic version is exactly the same, except you leave out the alcohols. You can add rum flavoring if you want that taste.

Hot buttered rum

Hot Buttered Rum
The Hot Buttered Rum is a perfect drink for autumn or winter. It belongs next to a nice fire, or out on the deck on a crisp, clear evening. It would even work around a campfire. Whatever the setting, a Hot Buttered Rum makes you feel more cozy.

Recipe

There are several variations on this recipe. The simple version:
  • 2 ounces of dark rum
  • cinnamon stick
  • 1 pat butter
  • 1 slice lemon peel
  • Boiled water
Put the cinnamon stick, lemon peel and rum in a mug. Fill it with boiling water (leave a spoon in the mug so the glass won’t break from the heat). Float the butter on top, then stir it in. Or serve it with the butter floating and let your guests stir it in with their cinnamon sticks.
Or you can get fancier, in which case you should really just make up a pitcher at a time and save yourself some labor.
  • 1 bottle of dark rum
  • 1 stick of butter (let it sit out until it’s soft)
  • 2 cups of brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • a pinch of ground cloves
  • a pinch of salt
  • boiling water
Put the butter, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and salt into a bowl. Cream them together with a mixer. Refrigerate until the mixture is almost firm. Spoon two tablespoons of the mixture into each of twelve small mugs. Fill the mugs to the halfway point with the rum (should use about three ounces of rum in each mug), then fill the mug the rest of the way with boiling water. Stir well and serve.
When deciding what to eat with a Hot Buttered Rum, think bread and fruit. Dishes based on either or both of those will go well with the drink. A pancake or waffle breakfast for dinner is wonderful with it. Try apple cinnamon pancakes to shake things up a little. For a snack with your Hot Buttered Rum, try brie puff pastries topped with any kind of fruit preserves or jam you like.

Mulled Wine

Mulled Wine cocktail
Mulled wine is a traditional winter alternative to fruit punch. It’s a little spicier, and a little more warming to cold bodies. While it involves a lot of ingredients and a little bit of cooking, it’s easy enough to make. The simmering brings out a lot of flavor from the other ingredients.
Like any cocktail recipe, this one can be tweaked to taste. You may prefer a little more or less sugar, for example, and some people find even a little bit of anise overwhelming, so you may need to experiment to find what works for you.

Recipe

  • 1 bottle red wine
  • 1 cup cognac
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 2 cinnamon sticks
  • 3 whole cloves
  • 1 tsp grated nutmeg
  • 1 vanilla bean
  • 1 star anise
  • 1 sliced orange
  • 1 sliced lemon
Combine the ingredients in a sauce pan and simmer for 25 minutes. Let it sit overnight if possible (in the refrigerator is fine). Strain out the fruits and other non-drinkable ingredients and serve it warm in glass mugs.

Chocolate Peppermint Stick

Chocolate Peppermint Stick cocktail
The Chocolate Peppermint Stick tastes exactly like you’d expect from the name. The main flavor is overwhelmingly peppermint, but the creme de cacao is strong, too. If you’ve ever had one of those peppermint sticks that has a chocolatey ribbon woven through it instead of the usual red fruity ones, that’s about what this drink tastes like.
This drink should be regarded as a double, and therefore might not be your best choice for a party (particularly if people will be driving themselves home). It’s wonderful for a night in.

Recipe

  • 1 1/2 ounce white creme de cacao
  • 1 ounce cream
  • 1 ounce peppermint schnapps
Skake well with ice. Strain ingredients into chilled martini glasses. Garnish with a small peppermint candy cane (or, optionally, crush the candy cane and sprinkle it on top) and serve.

Christmas Cookie

Christmas Cookie cocktail
With a name like the Christmas Cookie, this cocktail sounds innocent enough. But be forewarned: it really packs a wallop with three ounces of alcohol. It tastes a little like a peppermint latte, only much better.
This makes a delicious dessert drink. Feel free to try other brands of coffee liqueur and Irish cream – Tia Maria is great with this cocktail, and Carolan’s Irish Cream has (in my humble opinion) more flavor than Bailey’s. There are a lot of good liqueurs out there to choose from.

Recipe

  • 1 ounce peppermint schnapps
  • 1 ounce Kahlua
  • 1 ounce Bailey’s
Combine the ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake thoroughly, then strain the ingredients into a chilled martini glass.

Santa Shot

Santa Shot cocktail
The Santa Shot is a gorgeous little red and green layered shot that tastes like a candy cane. It’s Christmas ascetics combined with Christmas flavors, and it packs plenty of Christmas spirit. You might even want to leave one out for Santa with his cookies.
This is a great treat for parties, especially as an aperitif. If you don’t trust your layering skills (learn how to layer cocktails like a pro here) under pressure, you can pour these in advance, put them on a serving tray and leave them in the fridge to stay nice and chilled. When the times comes, just pull the serving tray out carefully and carry it in to deliver the drinks to your guests.

Recipe

  • 1 part grenadine syrup
  • 1 part green creme de menthe
  • 1 part peppermint schnapps
Pour grenadine to about 1/3 of your shot glass. Carefully layer the creme de menthe, then the peppermint schnapps.

Chocolate Raspberry Martini

Chocolate Raspberry Martini
The Chocolate Raspberry Martini may not look particularly chocolate or raspberry, but it is both. And it is delicious. It looks like a simple, clear martini, which is why the garnish is so important.
You can garnish this one in a few ways: put a few fresh raspberries in it, sprinkle cocoa powder across the surface, put a chocolate kiss or two in it, or any combination of the above. You can also rim the glass with sweetened cocoa powder and put fresh raspberries in the drink – that’s my personal favorite.
This is a strong drink, so savor it on a special night in.

Recipe

  • 1 1/2 ounce raspberry vodka
  • 1 ounce white creme de cacao
Chill your ingredients beforehand. Pour them into a chilled martini glass – no need to stir or shake or anything.

The Red Hot Santa Tini

Red Hot Santa Tini
Mixing chocolate and hot pepper together is trendy for a reason: it’s astoundingly good. The Red Hot Santa Tini mixes chili pepper infused vodka with Godiva chocolate liqueur, whipping cream and a surprising rim of cocoa and chili powder.
Don’t save this present for Christmas.

Recipe

  • 2 ounces chili-infused vodka
  • 2 ounces Godiva chocolate liqueur
  • Cocoa powder
  • Cayenne pepper
  • Sweetened whipping cream
  • One small Thai chili pepper
Mix some cocoa powder together with a pinch of cayenne pepper, and rim a chilled martini glass with it. Shake the vodka up with the chocolate liqueur and pour the mixture into the glass. Top it off with the whipping cream and garnish by floating the chili pepper on top of the cream.

Snowball

Snowball cocktail
Tired of sophisticated holiday ‘tinis with odd (but so grown-up) flavor combinations and sexy garnishes? Maybe it’s time for a good old-fashioned blended cocktail that looks like a big ball of snow in a glass and tastes like cinnamon.
This drink has a flavor that’s definitely for the kid in you – but with three and a half ounces of alcohol, there’s definitely something for the grown-up, too. The terminally adult need not apply.

Recipe

  • 3 ounces 1921 Tequila Cream Liqueur
  • 3 drops of vanilla
  • crushed ice
  • 1 ounce of evaporated skim milk
  • 1/2 ounce Kahlua
  • cinnamon powder
  • cinnamon stick
Pour all the ingredients – except for the cinnamon powder – into a blender. Blend for about ten seconds. Pour it into a wine glass or brandy snifter. Sprinkle cinnamon powder on top and stick the cinnamon stick down in the glass for garnish.

Poinsettia

Poinsettia cocktail
The Poinsettia is a champagne cocktail, which makes it ideal for holiday parties. It’s light on the alcohol, easy to drink (even for very occasional drinkers) and festive.
It’s also a wonderful brunch drink, and the cranberry gives it a nice touch of autumn flavors for fall and winter.

Recipe

  • Champagne
  • 1/2 ounce Cointreau
  • 3 ounces cranberry juice
Put the Cointreau and cranberry juice in a chilled champagne flute. Stir them and top the rest of the way with champagne.
Harder Version
To make it a little harder, add an ounce of vodka or tequila.
Non-alcoholic version
To avoid alcohol all-together, replace the champagne with ginger ale.

Candy Cane

Candy Cane cocktail
The Candy Cane cocktail is a fabulous holiday dessert drink. Of course, you don’t have to save it for dessert – it’s just deliciously sweet enough that you could.
With a name like Candy Cane, you might expect this cocktail to be peppermint flavored, and it certainly does have that element. But there’s so much more: berry vodka and white creme de cacao round out the peppermint schnapps so you have a delicious combination that’s almost hard to pin down. Chocolate, berry and mint – how good can it get?

Recipe

  • 3/4 ounce SKYY Berry vodka
  • 3/4 ounce peppermint schnapps
  • 3/4 ounce white creme de cacao
  • 1/4 ounce grenadine
  • Half ‘n’ half
  • Crushed hard peppermint candy.
Mix the vodka, peppermint Schnapps, grenadine and creme de cacao with ice in a cocktail shaker. Be sure to shake it up thoroughly. Rim a cocktail glass with crushed hard peppermint candy and pour the shaken mixture into the glass. Top it off with half ‘n’ half.


Kerry MisMis *hic
MG








Sunday 8 December 2013

Ten Things I’ve Learned From Having A Penis

  1. Adjusting is a critical action throughout a man’s day. You don’t want your balls to get crushed, you don’t want to sit on your balls, you don’t want anything getting too warm/sweaty/itchy/squishy/bumpy/inappropriately erect.
  2. Most of my other body parts don’t care too much if I pay attention to them. They are like having lizards for pets. They just lounge around, doing their lizard-y things. A hand will pick something up…”opposable thumbs, no big deal.” A bum is just a nice pillow, it sticks to its knitting. A penis, on the other hand, does everything it can to get in the way. You have to be aware of it when you’re playing sports, because God forbid a ball hits it! A basketball hits your shoulder, it’s like…whatever. But your penis makes such a big deal! And then, even when you’re just sitting on the bus, it’ll sometimes poke up and say “hi” for no goddamn reason at all.
  3. There are people who think shaving their balls is a good idea. Now don’t get me wrong, I am in favour of trimming, but my experience with shaving is…well….just don’t do it. That’s my advice. Not without a trained professional around. Balls are generally just hanging sacks of loose skin. Does it make any sense to put an unguarded razor anywhere near those balls?
  4. It makes me very uncomfortable to think of sharp things around my penis. Knives, needles, pins, whatever. Chainsaws. So I really can’t understand people who get a Prince Albert.
  5.  I am anti-circumcision. 
  6. As men, we spend inordinate amounts of time worrying about the size of our penises, but I think it’s true that size doesn’t matter, as long as you can find another thing to be proud of. So, maybe you have girth. Or it’s incredibly straight. Or maybe you can do a special thing with it, like…a muscle thing…where you kind of focus, and you can sort of make it bounce…guys, you know what I’m talking about here.
  7. 10 year old boys don’t necessarily need a full and graphic sex talk, but they do need to be shown an illustration that shows an illustration of a penis and a photograph of sweatpants with a huge red circle around them and a red diagonal line through. That picture would have saved me so much torment…….
  8. We guys often treat our penises poorly. We don’t give them the respect they deserve. So a message to the men out there: please, if you love your penis, masturbate with respect. Avoid the Kung Fu grip.
  9. When teenage boys are in pools, and they press up against the jets…it’s because they like how it feels. I’ve done it, every guy has done it let’s face it. That action is the purest expression of our core motivation, our id. We want to press up against things because we like how it feels. Wars have been won and lost thanks to this behaviour.
  10. Sometimes you go pee and the pee comes out in two streams instead of one for the first little while, and you get confused. It’s ok. The flow was probably just disrupted because of some hardened ejaculate or other material! Either that or you have a bifurcated penis, like a snake’s tongue!!  

Monday 2 December 2013

15 Awesome Layered Drinks You've Never Heard Of!

#1 Candy Corn Shooter (Image 15 of 15)
It's never a bad time for candy corn. Those things last forever. But, sometimes they get stale in that drawer with the old sunglasses and pennies, and you just went to the dentist, and they are definitely not on sale (50% off) at the drugstore. That's no excuse to not enjoy candy corn. The fact that candy corn contains zero alcohol is a perfectly legitimate excuse. Let's do something about that.

Total Time: 3 minutes

Yield: 1 Shooter

Ingredients:

1/3 oz Galliano
1/3 orange curacao
1/3 oz cream
Preparation:

Pour the Galliano into a shot glass.
Float the orange curacao on top.
Float the cream on top.
 
 
#2 The Mudslide (Image 14 of 15)
If you like milkshakes, you'll LOVE this mudslide recipe. It's a sinfully rich mix of chocolate and coffee flavors. Coffee, chocolate, and cream; what more could you ask for? Well, some vodka couldn't hurt! Why not try this one out next timer you get a hankering for a creamy cocktail?


1 oz vodka
1 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
1 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
1 oz cream
chocolate sauce
whipped cream


Blend ingredients in a blender with ice. Line an old-fashioned glass with chocolate sauce and pour yourself a yummy treat! Top with whipped cream.
 
 
#3 The Anniversary (Image 13 of 15)
The Anniversary is definitely a looker. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it is a modified version of the classic Manhattan cocktail. Sounds good to us! This city slicker looks good in any glass. It's also fairly easy to shake up! Give it a shot (or two)!


Here's what you'll need:

1 ounce gin
1 ounce Armagnac
1 ounce sweet vermouth
2 dashes orange bitters
Directions: Stir with ice and strain into a chilled glass.
 
 
#4 Bubblegum Boy (Image 12 of 15)
Got bad breath? Just knock back a Bubblegum Boy shot! You'll be flying high and smelling great in no time. With just a few ingredients, you too can bubblegum your way to the top. You'll probably impress a few people along the way. It's easier than it looks!

Ingredients:
banana liqueur - 1/3 oz
blue curacao - 1/3 oz
Baileys - 1/3 oz

Pour the banana liqueur into a shot glass.
Layer the blue curacao over the back of a spoon onto the surface of the banana liqueur.
Layer the Baileys over the back of a spoon onto the surface of the blue curacao.
 
 
#5 The Valentina (Image 11 of 15)
The Valentina comes courtesy of mixologist Esther Gonzalez. You could just drink a shot of vodka and swish around some maraschino cherry juice in your mouth. Maybe you should do that. It seems a bit easier than this concoction. But, if you're willing to go the extra mile to create a drink worth it's weight in molecules, roll up your sleeves and get to work on this delicious concoction.

1 oz. Cherry vodka
2.5 oz. Tres Leches Liqueur
1 oz. Cherry Morello Puree (blend with simple sugar half & half)
1 oz. Valrhona white chocolate (melted)*
2 oz. Valrhona dark chocolate (melted)*
Pineapple juice
Red sugar crystal - glass rim
Mint leaves for garnish

In a shallow bowl or plate, place the pineapple and rim the martini glass. Place the red sugar crystals in a plate and very slowly coat the rim of the martini glass. Give a second or two for the sugar to adhere to the glass rim.

Slowly pour the white chocolate sauce around the middle of the glass. Creating a belt like look. Slowly pour the dark chocolate sauce right on top of the white chocolate sauce, do not mix together. Slowly pour the dark chocolate sauce under the red sugar crystals on the rim of the glass. It might be easier to turn the glass sideways. Place the glass back in the freezer to keep cold and have the chocolate sauce set.

In a shaker mix the Tres Leches and Cherry Vodka with ice. Shake once. Take the glass out and pour the Morello Cherry Puree up to the rim of the white chocolate. Using a spoon, pour the mixture of Tres Leches and Cherry Vodka slowly to keep the puree. Separate. Garnish with Mint leaves.
 
 
#6 Birthday Cupcake Jello Shots! (Image 10 of 15)
Birthdays are great! Cupcakes are even better! But, you know what those cute little sweet treats are missing? That's right. Booze! This recipe (courtesy of Erica Sweet Tooth) is great for sprucing up any cupcake worthy event. Just make sure to keep them away from the kids. Or, at the very least, YouTube the results. Little Timmy's drunk! Oops!

Birthday Cake Jello Shots

2/3 cup cream soda
2/3 cup cranberry juice cocktail
1 tbsp heavy cream
2 envelopes plain gelatin*
2/3 cup cake-flavored vodka
Few drops food coloring, if desired
Whipped cream - fresh or store-bought
Sprinkles )or Jimmies) for garnish

Lightly spray the mold with non-stick spray and wipe excess off with a paper towel. Don't over spray it or the residue will affect the taste of the jello.
Pour the soda, juice, and cream into a medium saucepan and sprinkle the gelatin on top. Allow the gelatin to soak for 2-3 minutes, then begin to heat on low, stirring constantly until gelatin is fully dissolved (about 5 minutes).
Remove saucepan from heat and add vodka and food coloring.
Pour into molds and chill for several hours, or until set.
Remove from mold, top with whipped cream
 
 
#7 The 747 (Image 9 of 15)
Talk about a pick me up! This mix of coffee, hazelnut, and Irish Cream flavors sounds like the perfect cup of coffee for the evening. Next time you're out, order yourself one of these. Or, even better, learn to create the pretty little shot yourself. And if it doesn't layer as perfectly as it does here, it's still going to taste like coffee heaven. Yum!

1/2 oz. Coffee Liqueur
1/2 oz. Hazelnut Liqueur
1/2 oz. Irish Cream

Pour in layers the coffee liqueur then the hazelnut liqueur and finally the Irish cream in a shot glass.
 
 
#8 The Jellyfish (Image 8 of 15)
The Jellyfish looks like a stinger of a shot! Fear not, dear reader. The Jellyfish goes down like, well, jelly! But without the fish. That's good news! And it's quite a looker! The blend of electric red and white is something to be admired. Slam one down!

1/2 oz. Crème de Cacao (White)
1/2 oz. Amaretto
1/2 oz. Irish Cream
3 Drops of Grenadine

Pour in layers the white Crème de Cacao then the amaretto and finally the Irish cream in a shot glass. Add 3 drops of grenadine in the center of the shot.
 
 
#9 The Wicked Witch (Image 7 of 15)
Oooh scary! Are you sure you want to try this cocktail? Yeah, you are! It not only looks cool. It's got Jäger. Who doesn't appreciate a good shot of Jäger? Well, some of us. But maybe The Wicked Witch will help put those nasty memories to rest.

3/4 oz. Jägermeister®
3/4 oz. Hiram Walker® Pumpkin Spice
3/4 oz. Melon Liqueur
Garnish: Chocolate Sprinkles

Dip the rim into water and then into a plate of chocolate sprinkles (optional). Then, pour in layers the Jägermeister then the pumpkin spice liqueur and finally the melon liqueur.
 
 
#10 The American Flag (Image 6 of 15)
USA! TAKE A DRINK! USA! USA! OK, that's enough of that. Hey, you'd want to cheer too if you were enjoying a delicious American Flag shot. We're pretty sure it's illegal to drink and actual American Flag. Maybe the ones made in China are OK. Either way, this one is bound to taste a whole lot better. Save your jail bond money and pour and give yourself a patriotic treat.

1/2 oz. Grenadine
1/2 oz. Crème de Cacao (White)
1/2 oz. Blue Curacao

In layers, pour the grenadine then the crème de cacao and finally the blue curacao into a cordial glass.
 
 
#11 The Buttery Nip Slip (Image 5 of 15)
Mmmm, Mmmm! Melts like butter on a hot summer's, well, you know. It's a sweet treat that does the trick more than you'd probably think. Although the concept is probably enough to make most people's hearts race; at least a little.


1 oz. Butterscotch Schnapps
1/2 oz. Irish Cream

Pour the butterscotch into a shot glass then pour the Irish cream on top using the back of a spoon.
 
 
#12 Lava Flow (Image 4 of 15)
No time for a vacation? Slurp up a lava flow drink (or 3) and you just might forget that you're not in Hawaii. It's a gorgeous and fun looking cocktail. The lava flow gives us the urge to skip about, even if it's directly into a volcano. Perfect for a hot summer day.

1 ounce coconut syrup
2 ounces pineapple juice
1 1/2 ounces rum
Splash vanilla ice milk (or ice cream)
1/2 cup ice
1 1/2 ounces strawberry puree

Blend all ingredients except strawberry puree. Pour into a cocktail glass and garnish with strawberry puree.
 
 
#13 Morphing Martini (Image 3 of 15)
This drink is not for the faint of heart, or faint of leg, or even the faint of arm. It doesn't even look safe to drink. But, your friends will be shocked when you whip up the Morphing Martini. After the chunk of dry ice (can't pick that up at the liquor store) is immediately beings to bubble. Then the cocktail morphs into a deep purple color as it cools. It's definitely a show stopper!

Ingredients:

1 leaf red cabbage, chopped or shredded
Water (enough to cover the cabbage)
2 ounces gin or vodka
1/2 splash vermouth
Pinch baking soda
1 small chunk dry ice (about dime size)
Directions:

Cover the cabbage with water and microwave it on high until boiling (four to six minutes). It should turn a deep purple color.
Pour about a tablespoon of the cabbage water into the bottom of a martini glass and add a pinch of baking soda. (The glass should be large enough to hold all the fluid and leave about an inch of air at the top.)
Add gin or vodka and a bit of vermouth (about 1/6 of an ounce). The mixture should now be light blue in color.
When you're ready to serve, drop the dry ice into the drink.
 
 
#14 Cinnamon Flavored Dead Frog (Image 2 of 15)
It looks pretty gross, doesn't it? But as may guess, it tastes pretty awesome. And it definitely goes down smoother than a real dead frog. Trust us, we tried. A lot. We're not sure why we thought it might work. That aside, this is a fun shot recipe to have up your sleeve. It also makes a great Halloween drink!

Ingredients:
Creme de menthe 1 Ounce
Creme de cacao 1 Ounce
Milk 1 Ounce
After shock 1 Dash
Dark rum 1 Dash
Ice cubes 10 Medium

1. In a shaker, add green Creme de Menthe, clear Creme de Cacao, milk, aftershoc, dark rum and ice cubes and shake well.
2. Strain into a glass.

SERVING
3. Serve chilled.
 
 
#15 Alien Brain Hemorrhage (Image 1 of 15)
If you think the idea of severe brain injury sounds like a good way to start the weekend, then you'll love the Alien Brain Hemorrhage! It's even worse than a regular, old, human brain hemorrhage, because it's from space! And we know, because of science.

1 oz. Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz. Irish Cream
2 Drops of Grenadine

Pour the peach schnapps into a shot glass. Layer the Irish cream on top. Finally, add the drops of grenadine to the center of the drink, until it passes through the cream. Voila!

Sunday 1 December 2013

Paul Walker dies at age 40 in car crash.

Statement released by Paul walker's verified Facebook account -

It is with a truly heavy heart that we must confirm that Paul Walker passed away today in a tragic car accident while attending a charity event for his organization Reach Out Worldwide. He was a passenger in a friend's car, in which both lost their lives. We appreciate your patience as we too are stunned and saddened beyond belief by this news. Thank you for keeping his family and friends in your prayers during this very difficult time. We will do our best to keep you apprised on where to send condolences. - #TeamPW



image

image


From the TMZ report:

The accident happened in Santa Clarita — north of Los Angeles — and according to multiple sources connected to Paul … the actor was in a Porsche when the driver somehow lost control and slammed into a post or a tree … and then the car burst into flames.
We’re told Paul and another person in the car were killed. Law enforcement is still on the scene, and we’re told the L.A. County Coroner’s Office is on the way.
Sources close to Paul tell us he was in Santa Clarita for a car show to support the Philippines typhoon relief effort, and had been taking friends out for rides in his new Porsche GT. The accident happened during one of those test spins




Here is a photo of the accident scene from TMZ’s report:


image




Source: TMZ


-----------------------------------------


UPDATE:
image
- Firefighters spray water on the wreckage of a Porsche sports car that crashed into a light standard on Hercules Street in the Rye Canyon Industrial Park in Valencia on Saturday
image
- A sheriff's deputy at the scene of a crash in the Rye Canyon Business Park in Valencia where two people were killed when a Porsche crashed Saturday.
image
image



Two people were killed Saturday afternoon when a Porsche sports car crashed and burst into flames in Valencia, and initial reports indicated the passenger was actor Paul Walker.

The single-car crash occurred around 3:30 p.m. on Hercules Street near Constellation Road in the Rye Canyon Business Park, fire officials said.

The red Porsche was reduced to unrecognizable twisted metal in the single-car crash.

Sheriff’s Department officials did not confirm that the actor was killed in the crash, saying the Los Angeles County Coroner’s office would determine the victims’ identities and causes of death. The coroner’s office could not be reached for comment late Saturday.

Spectators gathered at the scene, and several said the passenger was the star of “The Fast and the Furious” series of films. One witness at the scene said he tried to put the fire out and recognized Walker inside the vehicle.

“Him and his buddy, his brother in arms at heart just decided to joyride, take a spin. Something we all do. We’re all car enthusiasts. ... We’re all here driving, enjoying each other, and God must’ve needed help,” said Antonio Holmes, who said he was a friend of Walker.

“We all heard from our location (the accident). It’s a little difficult to know what it was. Someone called it in and said it was a vehicle fire.

“We all ran around and jumped in cars and grabbed fire extinguishers and immediately went to the vehicle. It was engulfed in flames. There was nothing. They were trapped. Employees, friends of the shop. We tried. We tried. We went through fire extinguishers.”

Walker, 40, is said to have business ties to Always Evolving Performance Motors, located down Constellation Road from the scene of the crash. Always Evolving hosted a toy drive and car meet on Saturday.

Holmes said Walker was at the event supporting the cause, and the driver of the vehicle also had ties to the business.
Another witness said he saw Walker and the driver leave Always Evolving Performance Motors minutes before the crash.

“When we saw Paul and Roger leave, Paul was the passenger in the vehicle. They both were experienced drivers. This was just a tragic accident that happened on a joyride,” said Jim Torp of Santa Clarita.

“At the conclusion of the accident the vehicle struck a light standard and the whole car was burned,” a Los Angeles County Fire Department spokesman said. The two occupants of the vehicle were unable to get out in time, he said.

A sheriff’s deputy at the scene said the Porsche driver appeared to have lost control of the car, which hit a tree. Both a tree and a light standard were downed at the scene.

Spectators gathered at the crash site as the afternoon darkened into evening, held back from going too close by yellow caution tape.




Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Walker

Youtube -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqXRwS7FJTw
(Paul walker looking at the red Porsche)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OacDs-GE5vs
(live video just after the crashMaybe distressing for some )


I don't feel that good posting these... but I just want to get all the information in one.

Thursday 14 November 2013

Men's Rules: A guide for women

Women should learn these.

*Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

*Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!

*Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

*Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

*Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

*Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

*We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

*Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

*Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

*Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

*A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

*Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

*If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

*If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

*If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

*Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

*You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

*Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

*Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

*The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

*ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

*If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

*We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

*If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

*If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

*Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

*Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

*BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

*Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

Monday 11 November 2013

Internet Password Rage Explained

—Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one.
Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?
—No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one.
Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty good?
—You must get a new one as they automatically expire every 30 days.
Can I use the old one and just re-register it?
—No, you must get a new one.
I don’t want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember.
—Sorry, you must get a new one.

OK, roses
—Sorry you must use more letters.
OK, pretty roses
—No good, you must use at least one numerical space.
OK, 1 pretty rose
—Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.
OK, 1prettyrose
—Sorry, you must use additional spaces.
OK, 1fuckingprettyrose
—Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter.
OK, 1FUCKINGprettyrose
—Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.
OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose
—Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters.
OK,  1FUCKINGprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon’tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow
—Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used

50 ways to liven up your working day at the office

Liven up your day in the office with a set of fun challenges that will set you on the path to finding a new place of work.
1. Grow yourself a keyboard lawn 



2. Devise an entertaining ‘Out Of Office’ reply

3. Champion a corporate Green Policy 

4. Stare mindlessly at the sunbathing robots on the adjoining roof

5. Create an entertaining poster

6. Customise your workspace



7. Print this out and stick it on the photocopier. Wait and watch. 

8. Hold a MEETING! [via]

9. When she’s out for a meeting – relocate the contents of boss’s office.

10. Always take phone messages

11. Hone your topiary skills in the company car park 

12. Get creative with the stationery 


13. Dream about landing a more interesting job [via]

14. Surf the web

15. Redefine office job descriptions

16. Work out how to hack the office CCTV system

17. Have fun in corridors

18. Draw-up an realistic work schedule

19. Make shadow puppets
20. Leave a thoughtful gift on a colleague’s desk 

21. Text a colleague. Say ‘You better come back to the office. You’ve been given a signicant raise.’

22. Bake someone a leaving cake

23. Troll the photocopier 

24. Attempt to restore karma

 25. Refuse to tolerate pranks..

26. However – DO dole them out to others



27. Deal with unwanted lorries that block your natural light in the following manner..

28. Deal with complaints made against you 

29. Go to work dressed as a tomato. [via Facebook]


30. Leave a surprise in the kitchen 

31. Take some time to appreciate how office friendships work

32. Deal with fridge theft appropriately


33. Surf the web again – but careful not to get caught on camera during media visits

34. Combat toilet hygiene issues

35. Have a word with the office manager about the desk lay-out

36. DO NOT allow people to use the fire exits

37. Deal with poor typography issues swiftly

38. Make the necessary preparations for inter-desk conflict 

39. When your boss asks you to follow him into his office do this.

40. Use natural office resources to create entertainment

41. Try these dares
ONE-POINT DARES
1. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, ‘Sorry, I really prefer it this way’.
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
7. Finish all your sentences with ‘…in accordance with the prophecy.’
8. Don’t use any punctuation
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, ‘I like your style’, wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ‘email!’
5. Put decaf in the coffee machine for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole-punching your finger. Each time you do, shout ‘damnit, it’s happened again!’ Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as ‘the office bike’. Then wink and pout.
8. Call the I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can’t seem to access any pornography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem
2. Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as ‘Roger’.
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you ‘really have to go do a number two’.
5. When you’ve picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ‘she can abort it for all I care.’
6. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, ‘Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!’
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, ‘As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!’
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: ‘Do you hear that?’ ‘What?’ ‘Never mind, it’s gone now.’
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14. While a colleague is writing, grab their pen and throw it out of the nearest open window.
42. Change your manager’s desk plate 

43. Acquire an entertaining tie44. Offer to help out in the I.T Department for the day

45. Familiarise yourself with the latest office jargon 
A Mills and Doom – doomed office romance
Adhocracy - a department with little to no process or organisational ability
Administrivia – vitally important stuff that managers leave to everyone else
Agenda Bender - a co-worker who is easily side-tracked in meetings.
Al desco dining – eating at your desk. See also Deskfast
Blamestorming – a meeting in which a scapegoat is identified for causing a problem
Blownus – the money which would have gone on paying bonuses that was spent on the directors xmas lunch
Brandalism – sticking company logos on everything and anything
A Buellerlemic – an employee addicted to throwing a sickie
Chainsaw Consultant – an outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count
Chartist – an accountant with a deep love of graphs
Chinese holiday - taking a five minute break by faking the need for the loo and just sitting on a china latrine, head in hands
Clapathy – not caring enough about what you’ve just seen to applaud
Communicaking – a session where employers encourage staff to network with colleagues by bribing them with coffee and donuts
Crapplicant – an applicant that’s crap.
Credit munch – switching to a cheaper lunch
Cybernating – snoozing at your computer
Decruiting – firing someone
Deja-moo – bullshit that you’ve heard before
Delegut - A representative at a conference whose sole contribution seems to be that of demolishing the lunch buffet.
Desk jockey – office-based employee
Deskfast - eating your breakfast at your desk (via @GriffySavalas)
Dracula shift – Going to work in the dark. Going home in the dark
The Dopeler effect: Tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly (via
Ego-Surfing – Searching Google for instances of your name.
Flashturbation – self-congratulatory and excessive use of animation in Powerpoint
Fleemail. Email delegating responsibilities whilst avoiding confrontation, sent just as your boss is about to leave
A Friday FOE. Someone who tends to leave early for the weekend. (ie Fucks Off Early)
Goat rodeo – an embarrassing meeting
Googlenosis – looking up symptoms on the web to make your sickie more believable. 
Google Zoo – when an entire office is pretending to work
Horizontal Promotion: climbing the career ladder while laying on your back.
Incompitemp Temporary office drone. Serving only to drain budgets and wreak havoc. Possibly offset by tea making skills.
iTea department – a group of individuals who break up their day with excessive kitchen loitering. 
Kebab manoeuvre – packing up low quality products, heavily marketing them and selling at an elevated price
Lynx Minx – A female who brings improvements in personal hygiene in male staff
A Middleton – posh, pretty dimwit in the marketing dept who is only killing time until she marries into money  
Mushroom Management. Keeping staff  in the dark and covered in shit.
Open Kimono – throwing an idea out, but being open to criticism
Parliamentary bonus - act of wrongly claiming expenses to get more money
Pope-ing it – when losing the real argument during a meeting, to take the moral high ground
Putting socks on an octopus – an impossible task
Randy Pogo – someone who jumps around the office trying to get laid
Ricky Malaise – The discomfort felt when someone attempts a David Brent impersonation
Ronnie Bics -  the great stationery cupboard robber
Scatisfaction - the smug feeling one gets whilst taking an extended dump on company time
Shirking from home
Special Projects Manager = dead man walking
Special sauce – adding a low-cost ingredient to a poor product and achieving a 500% mark-up
Stroperator – the mardy bitch on reception with an over-inflated sense of importance.
Teahydrated – the urge, nay the need for tea
Teflon Shoulders - nickname for co-worker who offloads work to others, a drop of the shoulder and it slides off onto someone else
T.W.A.T - a person who doesn’t work Monday or Friday – only Tue Wed And Thu

Wallpapering fog – a pointless exercise
Zombie project – an initiative that keeps coming back to life no matter how many previous attempts to kill it
46. Because paper jams are ‘hilarious’ 

47. Take up Rowing

48. Desperation sets in…
49. Nearly home time

50. Write farewell email. Hit send.