Monday, 25 February 2013

10 Questions i get asked by my str8 friends...

Many of us if not all of us had the urge to ask a question regardless if it was serious or stupid at some point in our lives. We all have heard someone say “Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers.” or  “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” 

For me as a gay man the questions i get from some people is mostly so funny that i often do not even realise that they are serious about it. That got me thinking, if they ask those kind of questions and they are serious, then maybe they really don't know. A few weeks ago i had a eureka moment, why not do a blog about the most common questions i get, yeah i know its been done on many occasions so why bother?

I asked all of my friends for the one question they wanted to ask a gay person but never had the guts to ask. They could ask me directly of just text or email if they wanted to, i was amazed by the response i got! I wanted to share this here to show my friends and family that they questions asked is not always "stupid" the only stupid question is the question never asked in my opinion.

So here goes :)

1) Do you even like sports or do u only pretend?

Like any other person its a matter if preference, not every one likes the same things in life, i like rugby and cricket, not a big fan of soccer tho.

2) So how do you decide who is gonna be the man and who is the woman?

If you just let things progress during the night that should not be a problem, it will sort it self out...well some times lol. You do get some gay men that prefer to either "top" or "bottom" and not always both. Some guys and i do think most is what you call versatile, they go either way.

3) Do you have "gaydar" and how does it actually work?

I'm not sure if i have ever had a working"gaydar" if i did i would have gone for someone else than my exes lol. Most gay men and i say most because i am sure mine doesn't work, usually knows if someone else is gay or not, we are not always correct but mostly we are. A look or just a vibe is usually all it takes to know if he is or not, but its not an exact science and it might very well end up in a disaster...well for me anyway lol

4) Aren't you scared of getting infected with...well you know AIDS?

Aren't everyone? Every person i know is scared of that, but we also know not to test fate and have unprotected sex, condoms are not only there to inflate or make funny videos with, they do actually save lives so use them. HIV/AIDS are not the killer that it used to be, many people now live long and happy lives even when they are infected but that does not mean we can forget about it and be like animals, NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

5) When did you decide to be gay?

I didn't chose to be gay, i didn't wake up one morning and thought to myself " Hmmmm i think today i will be gay" No one i know will choose something that could potentially make people you love hate and reject you. I knew from a very young age that i was different than my friends. i didn't realise at the time what it was, but i did eventually come to know that i was gay and i was OK with it even if other people wasn't.

6) Gay people will go to hell, doesn't that bother you?

It used to. We all sin, we all make mistakes and we all learn from it. I was born gay, i didn't decide to be gay. I was brought up to believe that God didn't make mistakes, and i still believe that!

7) You say that you are gay, but why do we never see you in women's clothing?

Being gay does not mean that we dress up in women's clothing. Some guys are more feminine and they do prefer to dress like a woman. I am gay because i find men attractive, not men trying to be a woman. You will be shocked if you knew how many of the men you have met is actually gay, even if they don`t look it.

8) Does "IT" hurt?

Gay sex the first time can be painful for some, but with the miracle invention that is lube and with some foreplay your body soon adapts to the pleasure that comes from being intimate with another man.

9) Why do you like Barbra Streisand? (i get asked this alot for some reason!)

I don't, not all gay men like her, for some reason that i do not understand being gay and Barbara is connected, God knows why lol, cant stand her voice! To be honest i have yet to meet someone that do like her!

10) Have you ever been with a woman?

Yes i have, i dated one for a while believe it or not lol, the thing is i am just not attracted to the female species in any way, shape or form. I do like women, i think they are fabulous, i just don't see them in that way.

I am sure there are many more questions out there, some serious and some not so serious. I leave you with these for now, but I'm sure there will be a follow up eventually since i still cant believe i received such a good response from my friends!


Saturday, 23 February 2013


Coenie Kukkuk, John-Louis O’Neil and Karin Sephton have resigned as Directors of Mr. Gay South Africa (Pty) Ltd. with effect 11 February 2013. 

Kukkuk who is also the Director: Africa & Middle East of Mr. Gay World, will stay on in this position until at least after Mr. Gay World 2013, which will be held in Antwerp, Belgium from 1 – 5 August 2013.  
South Africa will be represented by the current Mr. Gay South Africa™, Jason Rogers.
Frank Malaba will stay on as a director. Frank hails from Johannesburg and is an actor and poet and was the producer and presenter for Radio Outspoken. He has been involved for many years as an LGBTI rights activist and has been one of the judges of Mr. GSA since its inception in 2009 and also serving as a judge at Mr. Gay World 2012, as well as being an MC with Cathy Specific of the 2011 Mr. GSA Grand Finale. 

The new Directors are Emil Faber and Ricus Wessels. Emil is an attorney and owner of well-known restaurant Melon in Melville, Johannesburg, who was a judge of Mr. GSA during the 2012 breakaway and a sponsor of Mr. Gay World in the same year. His husband, Ricus Wessels, has also been part of the competition in the past years through sponsorships and more. They have been ardent supporters of Mr. GSA through the years not only as sponsors, but also as generous donors and supporters having also been on the 2011 breakaway on the cruise to Mozambique. 

Kukkuk said in Pretoria: “I am sad to leave Mr. Gay South Africa™ after so many years and after having seen it grow from just an idea by me, Juan Lerm and Cor van Rensburg to the successes the competition has achieved so far. Circumstances and demands by my practice have however dictated the terms. I would have had to neglect one or the other and that is not an option. I wish Emil, Ricus and Frank the best for the future and they can count on my continued support.” 

O’Neil said: “I want to devote most of my time to the Pink Loerie Mardi Gras & Arts Festival, and with the “Lucky 13th” one coming up beginning of May 2013, I can assure you that it will be a festival to remember. I will be in the audience at the Mr. GSA 2013/14 Grand Finale to support the new team.”
Both Kukkuk and O’Neil have also cited health reasons, with both being due for surgery in the next month. The company wishes them both a speedy recovery. 

Emil Faber and Ricus Wessels, who will take over as Director: Operations, said: “We wish to thank Coenie, John-Louis and Karin for their devotion and work through the years. We have acquired the services of Charl van den Berg, the first of the registered Mr. GSA title holders and Mr. Gay World 2010, and hope that we can maintain the high standard set by Coenie, John-Louis, Karin and their team. We are very excited and eager to take on the challenge and to make our community proud of the representative chosen.”

Any out-and-proud gay man who is a South African citizen and between the ages of 18 and 40 may enter Mr. Gay South Africa.  Possible entrants are encouraged to enter the Mr. Mardi Gras Pink Loerie competition in Knysna in May, (entry form here: ) as from the inception of Mr. GSA in 2009, the top two at Pink Loerie have qualified for Mr. GSA. Entries for Mr. GSA itself will open towards the beginning of June 2013. 

Mr. Gay South Africa™ is a registered and trademarked competition founded in 2009 to present a professional, upmarket competition for gay men in South Africa – a role model and a noticeable representative of which the entire LGBTI (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual and intersex) community can be proud of.

Two previous titleholders have won the internationally acclaimed Mr. Gay World competition, under which Mr. Gay South Africa™ is licensed, namely Charl van den Berg in Oslo, Norway in 2010 and Francois Nel in Manila, Philippines in 2011. The current Mr. Gay South Africa™, Lance Weyer, was first runner-up when Mr. Gay World 2012 was hosted by Johannesburg, South Africa in April 2012.

The competition has been hailed as the best national competition worldwide for the past three years. Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2013/13 will be chosen at a glittering Grand Finale at the end of the year and will represent South Africa at Mr. Gay World 2014.


Wednesday, 20 February 2013

The Top 10 Myths and Misconceptions About HIV and AIDS

Myth No. 1: I can get HIV by being around people who are HIV-positive.

The evidence shows that HIV is not spread through touch, tears, sweat, or saliva. You cannot catch HIV by:
  • Breathing the same air as someone who is HIV-positive
  • Touching a toilet seat or doorknob handle after an HIV-positive person
  • Drinking from a water fountain
  • Hugging, kissing, or shaking hands with someone who is HIV-positive
  • Sharing eating utensils with an HIV-positive person
  • Using exercise equipment at a gym
You can get it from infected blood, semen, vaginal fluid, or mother's milk.

Myth No. 2: I don't need to worry about becoming HIV positive -- new drugs will keep me well.

Yes, antiretroviral drugs are improving and extending the lives of many people who are HIV-positive. However, many of these drugs are expensive and produce serious side effects. None yet provides a cure. Also, drug-resistant strains of HIV make treatment an increasing challenge.

Myth No. 3: I can get HIV from mosquitoes.

Because HIV is spread through blood, people have worried that biting or bloodsucking insects might spread HIV. Several studies, however, show no evidence to support this -- even in areas with lots of mosquitoes and cases of HIV. When insects bite, they do not inject the blood of the person or animal they have last bitten. Also, HIV lives for only a short time inside an insect.

Myth No. 4: I'm HIV-positive -- my life is over.

In the early years of the disease epidemic, the death rate from AIDS was extremely high. But today, antiretroviral drugs allow HIV-positive people -- and even those with AIDS -- to live much longer, normal, and productive lives.

Myth No. 5: AIDS is genocide.

In one study, as many as 30% of African-Americans and Latinos expressed the view that HIV was a government conspiracy to kill minorities. Instead, higher rates of infection in these populations may be due, in part, to a lower level of health care.

Myth No. 6: I'm straight and don't use IV drugs -- I won't become HIV-positive.

Most men do become HIV-positive through sexual contact with other men or through injection drug use. However, about 16% of men and 78% of women become HIV-positive through heterosexual contact.

Myth No. 7: If I'm receiving treatment, I can't spread the HIV virus.

When HIV treatments work well, they can reduce the amount of virus in your blood to a level so low that it doesn't show up in blood tests. Research shows, however, that the virus is still "hiding" in other areas of the body. It is still essential to practise safe sex so you won't make someone else become HIV-positive.

Myth No. 8: My partner and I are both HIV positive -- there's no reason for us to practise safer sex.

Practising safer sex -- wearing condoms or using dental dams -- can protect you both from becoming exposed to other (potentially drug resistant) strains of HIV.

Myth No. 9: I could tell if my partner was HIV-positive.

You can be HIV-positive and not have any symptoms for years. The only way for you or your partner to know if you're HIV-positive is to get tested.

Myth No. 10: You can't get HIV from oral sex.

It's true that oral sex is less risky than some other types of sex. But you can get HIV by having oral sex with either a man or a woman who is HIV-positive. Always use a latex barrier during oral sex.

Don't get the facts wrong guys, read up on the stigma that is HIV/Aids, we live in a society where information is readily available and no one should feel like they are being targeted because we don't know the facts!


Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Fabulous fight club!

When did drama start to replace our normal scheduled entertainment? Seems to me that no one can get through a single day without being apart or staring in some kind of drama.

There is way more drama, backstabbing and just pure evil bitchiness in my daily life than i can cope with. the fucked up part is, that 99% of that drama etc is not even my own lol

We have celebrities on the screen and tabloids wanting to stab each other, rip out a weave (not even sure what a weave is!) or in general fight over some scrawny ass boyfriend. School girls on twitter and face book that wants to scoop out someones eyes for looking at her mans ass!

Then we get to the really good drama, the gay pink drama! And boy do we gays know how to milk the drama cow! Enter the Drama queens!

Everyday i log into twitter, no i don't have a face book since its crap, and i see these dramas play out. Mostly the same people that is involved in a non stop bitchy episode gays of our lives. I have lost count of who slept with who`s boyfriend or brother, who said what or who did what. Its a vicious never ending cycle of "fuck you bitch", "Whore" and many other colourful descriptions.

Don't get me wrong, its every bit as entertaining as it sounds! My thoughts on this is however slightly less entertaining. I don't want to see what you did to your ex boyfriend to spite your current boyfriend. Posting pics of you fucking him is even worse, its stupid. You are giving him evidence to use against you ass hole!
Posting a long and drawn out fight on twitter is even better! i just love reading every thing you have to say, for hours, i don't have a life, so please carry on!
Lets say for argument sake that i un-friend you (I know you are thinking that anyway!) to get away from it all. BEHOLD, someone will be kind enough to re tweet the entire fight and little by little i get drawn back into the current episode...Thank you for the re tweet ass hole!

Normal bitch fights can be mean, gay bitch fight can get nasty. Trust me if you have never been apart of one of those fights, Thank your lucky stars! Its vicious, underhanded and just plain nasty. Nothing is out of bounds! It might start with a comment about a bad outfit and before you realise it, it snow balled in to a full blown world war gay!

 I often imagine the pink version of fight club when i see these epic fights. Imagine if you will, i fabulous underground club that every one speaks about. Don't judge me, we are gay, keeping a secret is not in our genetic code! Luxurious fabrics drape from the wall, crystal chandelier hanging from a gold plated chain. Lighting just perfect, not to dark and not to bright either. Two worked up gay men standing in opposite corners getting ready to fight it out. The boas were dusted, nails and hair done, stunning night gowns draping their skinny bodies showing off every curve possible (needs to be skinny since being gay and fat is frowned upon)
A butch lesbian walks over scaring some of the more feminine men as she shouts, fight bitches!

What follows is a scene of epic drama at its best, Heels fly around the room, hair gets pulled and someone even loses an ear. Something that resembles a patty cake game when alcohol is involved draws a crowd, with one winning the fight and the other looking like he got run over by a snow plough after a few minutes of fighting. Fights wont be long since the smoking and alcohol abuse doesn't allow for long drawn out fights sadly :(

In the ideal world that would be what i would imagine a gay bitch fight will be like, but in reality we get the public I'm going to fuck you up public fights over the Internet. No use using a text message or phoning that person, mainly because then no one will see it...

In short (or not that short looking at the screen now) it gets down to this..

1) We don't want to see Ur drama!
2) Please don't share your drama!
3) Its non of my business so lets keep it that way!


Monday, 18 February 2013

Its all fun and games, until it isnt...

We all at one point or another cracked a joke at someones expense or what they are dealing with, we grew up with it, it became second nature for us as humans in a world that is hard and cruel. We deal with a hard situation by going to humour to help us through it, its a natural reaction, instinct if you will, but the fact is it makes dealing with death, a breakup etc easier to deal with. 
Just like we need air, we need humour to function in life, lets face it, who wants to go through the same shit day in and day out if nothing funny was ever said or happened, it would be a pritty fucking boring life if you ask me, but did you ever take a moment to think about exactly what you joked about, or how it would be seen by others, or how it would affect the person you are joking about?

The short and easy answer is no, we don't. We rarely if ever consider the impact of what we say or do, hey, no one is to blame for that, that's just how we are. Lets face it many if not all humans are inconsiderate self centred ass holes. If we get the attention and the laughter is directed at someone or something else we don't give a flying fuck about who get hurt. With Internet access so easily available it gave us a platform to be ass holes to the best of our ability with no regard to consequence. You can log into a social media platform like twitter or Face book or any of the others out there and anonymously joke, insult, threaten or abuse any one we want, no one will ever know, so why the fuck not?

Recently a celebrity athlete was arrested in South Africa for allegedly killing his girlfriend, it was shocking and sickening to many of his millions of fans, here is this beloved guy, Oscar Pistorius, in handcuffs for murder. Ironically it took less than an hour for the first jokes to appear on twitter. Jokes like "And the Oscar goes to.... Jail", "The tragedy is that if Oscar Pistorius had no arms, this would never have happened" and even "Oscar’s defence will be that he was absolutely legless at the time" tweeted by John Cleese quickly flooded every status or tweet within hours. Sure some of them is funny, but the fact is that not only do they make fun of an athlete with a disability but also of the fact that someone is dead and anothers life is basically destroyed. No thought about the family or friends of either parties involved reading that joke mere hours after the tragedy happened.

 If death is not off limits then surely something just as serious as HIV.AIDS isn't either? No its not, in the last day or so a comment made by a the times columnist, Caitlin Moran, or as i call her the feminist bitch or wannabe fag hag stirred to bee hive surrounding jokes. She made a joke that her cold was worse than AIDS and that had many people disgusted and ready for a public hanging. What made it much worse is that she then went and blocked a guy living with HIV/AIDS for taking her on about her post and the Policy Director of the Terence Higgins Trust who just invited her to come to a meet and greet with a few people living with the disease. No "oh i`m sorry" or "i meant no offence meant guys" followed that sick joke. A lot of people came to her defence saying it wasn't meant as an insult or anything bad regarding the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS and rightly so, but the fact of the matter is it shouldn't have been said in the first place, especially not by someone in her position, she should have thought before she pressed enter and take responsibility for the aftermath of her joke.

These two are only a small percentage of the jokes out there, some are really funny and some are just in bad taste no matter how you look at it. Would you walk up to the parents of a woman killed and crack a joke in real life or go to someone living with HIV and make fun of it? no you would not, because if you did you will more than likely get fucked up and receive the worst beating of your life. Don't get me wrong, i am no angel either, i make jokes...allot! anyone following me on twitter can see what i post, and i will be the first to say that some are really fucked up and not that funny, i`m human, i never said i was perfect and i know i will never be. I am not sitting around watching for a sick joke or someone to post something offencive either. What i am saying is that even though its not in our nature, it is in our hands to decide to be ass holes or not, we decide if we want to insensitive to something or someone, no one else.

Think before you press enter, think of what you are doing to someone before you do something fucked up for a laugh, you might not realise it but every laugh comes at a price...


Sleep & Men

For many men, sleep is just one more thing at the bottom of the list of all that needs to be done in a day. It seems like wasted time that prevents them from getting any work done. These wrong ideas about sleep keep men from tapping into the power of a well-rested mind and body.
In reality, sleeping is your most valuable activity of the day. The more you invest in your sleep, the bigger return you will see in everything else that you do.

Sleep allows your body to actively recharge itself and prepare for the next day. Sleeping well enables you to feel, think, and perform better. It allows you to maximize your time and your energy during the day.

The best way to do all that you want to do is to make sure that you get the sleep your body needs.

I. What Keeps Men from Getting Enough Sleep?
Lack of Awareness
Many men simply don’t realize that they need more sleep. They view sleepiness as a positive sign that they must be working hard. They get used to being tired, and they think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. They believe that they just have to fight through it.
Every person has their own need for sleep. This need varies from one person to another. On average, most adults need seven to eight hours of sleep each night to feel alert and well rested.

Many men do not get this much sleep on a regular basis. As a result, they are not able to function at a maximum level of energy and concentration.
The following are signs that you are not getting enough sleep:
  • You feel tired and lack energy during the day.
  • You have a hard time paying attention during meetings.
  • You are unmotivated and have trouble “getting going.”
  • You are irritable, grouchy or lose your temper easily.
  • You must use an alarm clock to wake up on time in the morning.
  • You start to doze off when you are driving a car.
Sleeping in later is not an option for most people who have to be at work early in the morning. Not too many employers are going to let you take a daytime nap, either. The solution is to go to bed earlier.

Plan to go to bed early enough so that you will have seven to eight hours before you have to get up in the morning. Set it as a goal and make it a priority. After doing this for a while, you will have a better idea if you need even more than eight hours of sleep, or maybe less than seven, to feel refreshed when you wake up.
Work Demands
A man’s job can demand so much of his time that it doesn’t leave much room for sleep. In order to get ahead, you may feel like you have to put in extra hours at night, go in on the weekends, or be the first one there in the morning. A long commute through heavy traffic may take away even more of your free time.

Even when you are away from the job, your work can consume your time. You may have paperwork that you have to finish at home. Your cell phone won’t stop ringing. Your e-mail needs to be constantly checked. Before you are even aware of it, time has flown by and it is well past your normal bedtime.
The stress and pressure of a job can also affect your sleep. Each night might be filled with worries and anxiety about what is going to happen tomorrow. Your body wants to rest, but your mind won’t stop spinning.

As a result, you toss and turn in bed late into the night. Maybe you fall asleep quickly but wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep. Before long, the alarm clock says that it’s time to get up and start the day.
You need to try your best to leave your work at work. As much as it is possible, don’t bring your job home with you. You need time away to relax both your body and your mind. Set boundaries and protect your personal free time.

This will be very hard if you work from home. You will need to find ways to get out of the house to relax and unwind.

You should also find a way to get your worries out of your system during the day. Talk to one of your buddies about them. Release them at the gym. Simply make sure that your bed is a place of rest, not worry.
Full Schedules
Many men have schedules that are filled with much more than just work. They go to the gym for a regular workout. They play sports or go see the local teams in action. They work on the car or on projects around the house. They are involved with a civic group, fraternal order, or local church.

Single men go on dates or out on the town with friends. Married men pick up the kids from practice or help them with their homework. The list of people, places, and things that can exhaust a man’s time is endless.
The key is to set priorities and balance your time. Take an honest look at your schedule to see if you are doing too much. Some things are more urgent than others. Not everything has to be done today, and not everything has to be done by you.

Some things that are important can still be re-arranged so that you make better use of your time. Other things may need to be scaled back so you don’t do them as often or for so long. Still other things that are not a high priority may need to be eliminated right now. You can always come back to them if you free up more time in your schedule down the road.

As you are deciding which activities are important, make sure that sleeping is one of them. Put it at the top of your list, not at the bottom.
Life Changes
Life is full of changes that can have a big impact upon how you sleep. Some changes you expect, but others catch you by surprise. Negative changes will tend to disturb your sleep the most.

But positive changes can affect you too. Along with excitement, good changes bring new duties and stress that can keep you up at night.

Examples of these kinds of changes include the following:
  • Getting married
  • Having a baby
  • Starting a new job
  • Moving
Examples of the negative changes that can greatly affect your sleep include the following:
  • Losing a loved one
  • Losing a job
  • Getting divorced
  • Being in an auto accident
  • Having a major illness
  • Being involved in a lawsuit
  • Making a bad investment
These changes can cause you to have feelings of depression. For many men, it begins so slowly that they never become aware that they are depressed. Over time, it can progress to the point where despair is just a normal part of their lives.

Depression can greatly disrupt the quality of your sleep. You might lie in bed tossing and turning late into the night. You also might sleep for a long time with no motivation to get out of bed.

As poor sleep progresses, men stop taking care of their bodies in other ways. They stop eating and exercising regularly. They abuse alcohol and drugs. Overall, they may lose their usual interest and pleasure in the normal activities of daily life.
Men are more likely to keep these feelings of depression trapped inside. They don’t often deal with them openly. In some cases, these feelings one day explode in a violent outburst.

Depressed men often turn this violence on themselves. Statistics show that men are four times as likely as women to kill themselves.

Many men resist seeking help from a counselor. They fear that people will think something is “wrong” with them. They need to understand that these feelings are perfectly normal. But while they are normal, they can also be hazardous to their health.

If you are struggling with feelings of depression, then at least start by talking to a spouse, friend, doctor or minister. Any of them can help you decide if you need to see a counselor. Don’t fight this battle alone.
Bad Habits
Men can develop a number of habits that cause bad sleep. The use of alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine can all affect your sleep. You should avoid these substances in the afternoon and at night. Consuming them too close to your bedtime can keep you from sleeping well.

You may also eat big meals or exercise just before you go to bed. Both of these habits can also disturb your sleep. This can be hard to avoid if you have a lot going on in the evenings.

If needed, you might want to eat a bigger meal at lunch and a smaller meal for dinner. To fit in your workout, perhaps you can try to exercise before work or on your lunch break.
Men also may keep an irregular sleep schedule. They go to bed and wake up at different times every day. This can disrupt your internal body clock and keep you from sleeping soundly. You should try to wake up at the same time every day. This includes weekends and holidays. This will help to keep your internal clock set at the right time.

Try to avoid sleeping in later on the weekends to catch up on lost sleep. Instead, go to bed earlier at night when you are tired. You should also keep naps to less than one hour. Be sure to take them in the early afternoon so you are not wide awake at bedtime.
Medical Conditions
Many medical conditions can keep you from being able to sleep well. Some of these are only temporary. A sprained ankle, the flu, or minor surgery will disrupt your sleep for a short while. Other problems may stay with you for the rest of your life. These illnesses and medical conditions become more common as you grow older.

The following are examples of medical conditions that can greatly disturb your sleep:
  • Epilepsy
  • Asthma and other respiratory diseases
  • Heart disease
  • Arthritis
Medications used to treat these and other problems can also hinder you from getting quality sleep. Some drugs might make you jittery and keep you up at night. Others will cause you to be very sleepy during the day.

Discuss these medications with your doctor. Changing the dose or when you take the drug might make a big difference for you.
II. What Sleep Disorders Affect Men?
There are many men who are unable to get quality sleep even though they spend enough time in bed each night. It may take them a long time to fall asleep. Their sleep may be disrupted and broken. They may sleep through the night but still feel tired the next day.

These are all signs of sleep disorders that are common to men. Most men who have a sleep disorder are unaware of it. Even when they are aware, many times they will not seek help for it.

Detecting and treating a sleep disorder can cause a dramatic improvement in your sleep. This will allow you to sleep your best at night and feel your best during the day.

These are some of the most common sleep disorders that affect men:
Obstructive sleep apnea (OSA)
Obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) occurs when the tissue in the back of the throat collapses during sleep. This keeps air from getting in to the lungs. This is very common, because the muscles inside the throat relax as you sleep.

Gravity then causes the tongue to fall back and block the airway. It can happen a few times a night or several hundred times per night.

These pauses in breathing briefly wake you up and disturb your sleep. This can cause you to be very tired the next day. Men are twice as likely as women to have OSA.

Being overweight and having a large neck size also greatly increase your risk of suffering from it. These men have more fatty tissue in their throat that can block their airway.
The primary signs of OSA are daytime sleepiness and loud snoring. Snoring is due to a partial blockage of the airway during sleep. It tends to increase as you age. There is a range of snoring from simple to severe.

Simple, primary snoring is “normal” and is mostly harmless. But loud, severe snoring with gasps and snorts is a cause for concern.

Many men do not even know that they snore. It is often a spouse or bed partner who detects the loud snoring problem.
Some men consider snoring to be a badge of honor. It is a sign of true masculinity. But they don’t realize that there are dangers that can come along with it.

Sleep apnea may make it hard for you to think or concentrate during the day. If left untreated, it may also put you at risk of heart disease, high blood pressure or diabetes.
Talk to your doctor if you snore loudly and are often tired during the day. He may refer you to a sleep specialist to find out if you have sleep apnea.

Losing weight and sleeping on one’s side may help in some mild cases of OSA. Severe sleep apnea requires medical treatment.

Continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) is the most common way to treat OSA in adults. CPAP provides a gentle and steady flow of air through a mask that is worn over the nose. This keeps the airway open and prevents pauses in breathing as you sleep.

Surgery or the use of an oral appliance (similar to a sports mouth guard) may be a better option for some people.
Narcolepsy is the term used to describe people who suffer from extreme sleepiness. It can cause you to suddenly fall asleep. These “sleep attacks” can happen while eating, walking or driving.

Narcolepsy usually starts between the ages of 12 and 20 and can last for your entire life. It does not get better without treatment.
Talk to your doctor if you are so tired that you might fall asleep at any time. He might refer you to a sleep specialist to find out if you have narcolepsy.

Medications can be used to treat narcolepsy and help you have a more normal pattern of being asleep and awake.
Delayed sleep phase disorder (DSP)
Busy work and social schedules can cause some men to get in the habit of going to bed very late. Delayed sleep phase disorder (DSP) is when you can only fall asleep a couple hours or more later than normal. This also causes you to have a hard time waking up early in the morning.
Your internal body clock makes you feel sleepy or alert at regular times every day. Everyone’s body has this natural timing system. A consistent habit of staying up and sleeping late can throw off the timing of your body clock. This can prevent you from being able to fall asleep at a decent time.
To correct DSP, try to avoid bright light in the late afternoon and evening. Keep the lights in the house dim and make your bedroom dark when you go to sleep. Then get plenty of bright sunlight in the morning and early afternoon.

This will help to keep your body clock set at the right time. The key is for your eyes to see the light. They send the signals to your brain that will be used to set your body clock. Your skin does not need to be exposed to the sunlight.
Jet lag disorder and shift work disorder Your work conditions can also cause you to have jet lag or shift work disorders. Men who often travel long distances by airplane suffer from jet lag. A long trip quickly puts you in a place where you need to sleep and wake at a time that is different than what your internal body clock expects.

Your body clock does not have time to adjust right away to a new location due to the speed of the travel. This makes it very hard for you to sleep well.
Men who work rotating, early-morning or night shifts often suffer from shift work disorder. Your schedule requires you to work when your body wants to sleep. Then you have to try to sleep when your body expects to be awake. This causes you to have trouble sleeping and to be severely tired.
The use of melatonin supplements has been shown to help some people who suffer from jet lag. Melatonin is a hormone that is released by the brain at night. It seems to play a role in making you sleepy.
Light therapy also may help someone with jet lag or shift work. Light therapy is used to expose your eyes to intense amounts of light. This occurs for a specific and regular length of time.

This light is meant to affect your body clock in the same way that sunlight does. Talk to your doctor to see if either melatonin or light therapy might help you sleep better.
Inadequate sleep hygiene
This insomnia might also be called “bad sleep habits.” It involves the things that you normally do every day. These habits keep your sleep from being refreshing. They can also keep you from feeling alert during the day.

These activities are all things that you should be able to control. They include such things as drinking alcohol or caffeine at night, taking long naps during the day, or keeping an irregular sleep schedule.

A sleep specialist can use behavioral therapy or sleep hygiene training to help you overcome these bad habits.
III. How Can Men Sleep Better?
Most men will sleep much better if they simply develop the habits of good sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene consists of basic tips that help you develop a pattern of healthy sleep. See the Resources section of this site to find out how anyone can start down the path to better sleep.
Some men think that drinking alcohol will help them sleep better. Alcohol makes you sleepy and might help you fall asleep faster. But it is also likely to cause you to wake up during the night. Many people wake up too early after drinking alcohol in the evening.

This may be a "rebound" from the use of alcohol. It stays in your system for a long time after you have a drink. To improve your sleep, you should not have any alcohol within six hours of your bedtime. You should also limit how much and how often you drink. The heavy use of alcohol can be harmful to your overall health.
Men sometimes see sleeping pills as the answer to their sleep problems. These drugs can be useful in helping some people sleep better. But pills should not be seen as a long-term solution for better sleep. Doctors rarely prescribe them for more than a few weeks at a time.

You can also find many sleep aids on the shelves of your local drugstore. Most of these use antihistamine, the same ingredient found in many cold medicines. While they can have a positive effect on your sleep, they can also make you very groggy during the day. They should be used with caution.

You should not depend upon drugs to help you sleep on a regular basis. Talk to your doctor about other options that will help improve your sleep.
If you have trouble sleeping for more than a month, talk to your doctor about it. Don’t think that it will just go away over time. He may encourage you to visit a sleep specialist to find the source of your sleeping difficulty.

Before going to see a specialist, complete a daily sleep diary for two weeks. The sleep diary will help the doctor see your sleeping patterns. This information gives the doctor clues about what is hindering your sleep and how to help you.

Your sleep is too important for you to ignore the signs of trouble. You have too much to gain by seeking help from a doctor. Don’t put it off. Your sleep will affect the quality of every other area of your life.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013


Usually i am a well behaved and upstanding guy (my mom thinks that anyway) but when i see this all i want to do is start fires all over the place! grrrr! Being that sexy and a fireman is just wrong!

Omg someone quick get me some COLD water!


Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Why Do Bears "Woof"?

The Etiquette of “Woof”

We do it online plenty. You see an attractive guy’s profile and you drop him a line to say “woof”.
Some people only use it as a measure of attractiveness (woofiness), Some as a greeting, “Woof, cub.” Some use it as a catcall, “Woof big boy! Wanna hang out in the pool?”

Some guys even find it offensive, saying that it demeans human sexuality to the level of animals.
But why do we woof?

It’s origins may have more to do with the internet than I previously thought.
It seems that a man named George Madison is alleged to have used the term first on a message board/forum in March of 1990.
 What we now know as the bear community was just then finding itself and coming to terms with their rejection of the “gay ideal” of a man as a hairless muscled 20-something.
I can’t say that I’ve ever heard someone legitimately say “woof” around me. I’ve said it plenty of times jokingly or ironically but I can’t say that I’ve ever actually woofed at someone in real life. Maybe it’s a disconnect from the anonymity of the internet.

The 2013 Manscaping Guide!

To shave or not to shave: that is the question. 

Manhunt teamed up with Max 4 Men to come up with the best answer possible, and with 27,609 of your votes tallied, we’re pleased to present you with the final results of our not-at-all-scientific research. While this may not necessarily put the manscaping argument to rest, it’ll at least give you some idea regarding the preferences of your fellow gay, bisexual or otherwise-identified men who enjoy the company of other men.
Those of you who took the poll might recall that we broke the results into two separate categories—lower and upper body. The results below show the breakdown for each individual part. Percentages represent the number of individuals who said you should shave, trim or manscape that given part.
If you hate reading and like pretty pictures, you might prefer viewing the results in this fashion (as linked in the image below). If you like numbers and arguing about what they mean, here’s the material you’ll get to work with…
Neck (12.43%)
Nose Hair (12.37%)
Neck Beard (11.19%)
Back (10.93%)
Shoulders (10.8%)
Face/Beard (8.58%)
Lower Back / Assy Knoll / Awkward Patch Above Your Crack (8.17%)
Upper Arm, Between Elbow & Shoulder (7.77%)
Eyebrows (5.85%)
Armpits (3.14%)
Chest (3.13%)
Abdominal Area (2.86%)
Hands/Fingers (1.7%)
Forearm, Between Wrist & Elbow (1.06%)
Shaft (21.35%)
Pubes/Bush (19.47%)
Balls (17.66%)
Taint, Between Balls & Hole (11.86%)
Hole (11.58%)
Butt Cheeks (6.78%)
Feet/Toes (5.17%)
Treasure Trail (3.05%)
Thighs (1.8%)
Calves (1.29%)

 You’ll notice that there are much higher percentages for the lower body, particularly in the crotch region. If you feel so inclined to do some grooming down there, might we recommend picking up some of Max 4 Men‘s pheromone-infused shaving products? Oh, come on, don’t look at us like that! We’re not promoting them just because they co-sponsored this guide. They make good stuff, and we have personal testimonials from our fellow Manhunt colleagues that the Balls n All Rash-Free Shave Cream is a ball-shaver’s best friend.

taken from: