Dear straight guy

Dear Straight Guy

We are writing this letter to you in an attempt to shed some light on some vicious rumors going around.

Unlike what you were told, we are not cavemen, we’re  gay which means we are fabulous and well mannered. We will not hit you over the head and drag you to our cave and rape you. The reason for that is that we live in a very stylish apartment and you might ruin it, would be better if we use your place.

We don’t sleep with every guy we see, gay or straight, which means we don’t sleep with hundreds of people like you were told. Do you realize how much work it is to always look fabulous? We do not have the time or energy to run around and look for men to sleep with, its just too much work!

We were also told that most of you think that since we are gay, we should have a handbag and wear a tight 80’s mini skirt while we flap around the world. That is also not true, do you realize how hard it is to find a prada handbag to match my beard? Most of us wear designer jeans and t-shirts just like you, we look like you, we talk and act like you, hell most of us are more man than you!

Most of you think we just run around looking at you cute ass…well that part is true, but its no different than what you are doing to every woman you see!

Lastly we would like to add one more thing, would it kill you to moisturize! We are used to a certain standard and kissing someone that feels like you are kissing the beach sand is not very attractive!  Use deodorant! The musky smell will only get you so far!

Cincerely

Us