Monday, 19 March 2012

Definition of the word gay...

Years ago, gay simply meant happy. It was a simple innocuous adjective used to describe the time had by Fred Flintstone whilst eating muffins or blowing a bassoon. You could have a Gay Day without having to put your penis anywhere, and even if your surname was 'Gay' you could probably get through school with most of your own teeth.
Then everything got really complicated...

Today the word gay has 4 uses:
  1. A man who enjoys other men's penises and/or bottoms but doesn't like vaginas or breasts.
  2. A woman who enjoys other women's breasts and/or vaginas and doesn't let men watch when they do.
  3. An insightful witticism. Although the genius of the insult is without question, it seldom has anything to do with penises, vaginas, breasts or indeed bottoms.
  4. A man or woman who is happy, and is unaware of the above definitions.
To confuse matters further, some people like to put their penis/vagina into various places of both men and women. These people are very Greedy individuals, and everyone else is really jealous.

So, how did it all start, and where do gay people come from? Now, try to be serious for a second... 
In the old days (in ancient greece, of course) you could screw pretty much anything you fancied, animal, vegetable or mineral and didn't even have to ask, unless of course it was a dinosaur. Gay bashing still existed, but sucking off a man was far less adventurous than tugging off a lion, so no-one gave a monkeys; especially the monkeys who still bum each other silly to this day.

In our modern world, gay men and lesbians (but especially gay men) are at the center of most western cultures, secretly ruling the governments of Europe, North America and some parts of Latin America. As a result they have become the most powerful group of people in history. In some areas, the gays in power have allowed heterosexuals (a.k.a.- straights or breeders) to maintain their delusions of being in charge by allowing the suppression of equal rights for gays through laws.

Increasingly, more straight men are allying themselves with their gay counterparts. This began with the Straight Guy-Lezzie Friendship Movement, but in recent years many straight men have realized the important benefits they gain from having gay male friends. [It is an especially excellent way for the straight friend to gain access to Poontang he would otherwise be socially barred from entering.] Sometimes, these Straight Guy-Gay Guy (SGGG) friendships develop into Bromances - romantic, non-sexual, extremely-close relationships between the two friends. Two straight men may also develop a Bromance, but the strongest and most beneficial are those stemming from SGGG friendships. It is now not uncommon to find straight men dragging their gay male friends to gay bars in order to take advantage of the free drinks from the bartenders and to boost their egos as they are checked out and hit-on by patrons.

  • FAG means cigarette. Unless you're homophobic, or a fag.
  • A faggot is a bundle of wood or a sausage. Unless you're homophobic, or a bundle of wood, or a sausage.
Got it? Perhaps not... Basically, the "rules" say that YOU are not allowed to use the word fag, unless you're a fag, in which case it's obviously considered fine. If a fag knows that you are homophobic, then using the word fag could be considered offensive. Unless of course he knows that you're actually secretly a fag in which case they will probably just try to suck your cock or something.

Why are People Gay?

  • Some say that Gays like men's bottoms and cocks, whereas straight guys don't.
  • Some say that Gays are just lazy straight people who have figured out that it's a lot easier to put your penis up a Gay man's bottom than it is to get a girl to let you do it.

Why are People Straight?

Despite a newly liberated generation of freshly aware sexual individuals many still agree that there is still something decidedly anal about being Gay. Women can be a pain in the ass and all, but in the end being straight actually looks like a lot less effort in the long run for most. Plus, if you really get the urge to get up all in the anal cavity with a woman, you at least don't have to kiss a guy with a beard to say thanks.

Why are People Homophobic?

  • Some say that there is actually a genetic difference between Gays and Straights. The logic follows that both are in the same genus as 'straights' (Homo) with the Gays being the Homo sexuals and the straights being the Homo sapiens.
  • Some say it's about Religion. God has been screwing with men since time began, so he's not against the idea.
  • Homophobic people are just jealous. They see Gay people getting all the easy casual sex and are upset because they haven't thought of doing it themselves. Rather obvious and boring we know but yes, unfortunately that really is the reason. 

Courtesy of uncyclopedia

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