I am and have always been a very emotional guy, it doesn't take much to bring out the ninja queen inside and that always leaves me with raccoon eyes! Trust me that is not a pretty sight!
My day started as normal as every other day, i post a few funny statuses on facebook or twitter, music to keep me sane and coffee to keep every one around me safe...i am not a morning person.
As most of you know you tube is filled with hidden tear jerker videos, soldier home comings, surprise proposals etc. Well today i clicked on a link to a video that wrecked me emotionally for the rest of the day.
Firstly let me tell you that it does not take much to turn me into a girl especially if its a sad story! This one was the mother of all sad videos, it combined the two things i am most afraid of. A man crying and an animal dying, basically the perfect storm for my emotional side!
The video was called "Last Minutes with ODEN"
Normally i would not even click on anything like that, i dont like sadness and i dont like seeing animals suffer and this one had both.
It was as if something wanted me to see that, i sat there waiting for it to buffer (Fate we are left to in South Africa) knowing in my mind that what i am about to watch will more than likely mess me up totally!
As i watched it, all 6 minutes and 15 seconds of it the tears ran down my face like a stream in a forest, the more i tried to stop the more i cried! I have never felt like this in my life. I dont know this man, i didn't know Oden, but why am i so affected by it then?
The answer is simple, i have been dealing with so much shit over the last year or so and i have been doing it alone that it finally caught up with me. It took this video of a man crying so much for his best friend for me to realise that i can not do this on my own. Men dont cry,...BULLSHIT! we are human and we have emotions like any other person. I was sad for him, i felt his pain, i have a cat that i love to bits, and i am to be honest scared of the day that i will have to say goodbye to him, when that day comes, a piece of me will die with him.
But it also made me realise that i am human, i cant keep things bottled up and pretend that nothing is wrong, sometimes even the best of us need to ask for help.
I will more than likely wake up tomorrow morning with puffy eyes but i know i will feel much better, all the emotions i swept away came flooding out today...and that is a good thing. I can now face the rest of my problems with an open mind and feel secure in knowing that i am not super man and that asking for help is not a weakness.
The little man that stole my heart "Gizmo"MG.